They regretted – Alexis Adegoke and her family left New York for suburban Dallas in June 2022, buying a four-bedroom house in hopes of more room for their growing family. Within a year, they missed the city—especially the walkability, their social ties, and the ease of day-to-
For almost a year, the Adegoke family tried to make Texas feel like home.
Alexis Adegoke—who has always romanticized New York City—had spent years building a life around the city’s rhythm: walking everywhere. keeping community close by. and watching history sit in plain sight. She and her husband, Tolu, moved to New York together in 2014 after college. They married in the city and welcomed two kids there. Now. at 35. Adegoke says she loved New York even more after becoming a new mom. praising the support she found in postpartum life—especially the ability to get out and move. connect with other parents. and see people outside.
But as their family grew, a different kind of pressure started to creep in. A sense that they owed their children a white-picket-fence life led them to leave the city for suburban Texas in 2022. They regretted the decision almost immediately.
Adegoke said the turning point came as they considered having more children while already living in a Brooklyn two-bedroom apartment that was “bursting at the seams.” With their children sharing a bedroom. she had been using the second bedroom as an office and play space. Adding a third child felt daunting. Friends in New York also didn’t think they had the space or resources to have more kids in the city.
She described the logic simply: “You just start to believe all of that, and that’s why we started to look in Texas.”
In June 2022, the family moved to Dallas and bought a four-bedroom, two-bathroom house that was a little over 2,000 square feet. Adegoke said it felt “really big” compared with their two-bedroom apartment. For a while, it worked. She described the early days as being in a “honeymoon phase. ” saying the family’s “main thing” they loved was having the “village and the support.” Her mother helped with the kids a lot. which she said gave them the separation they needed for date nights and time for themselves.
Then the city started to pull at them.
Within months, Adegoke said they missed New York. After moving. she got pregnant with her third child shortly afterward. and she said she found pregnancy harder in the suburbs—feeling isolated because she couldn’t just walk down the street or take a train to see friends. The family also struggled with the daily reality of driving everywhere. Her kids missed seeing people walking around.
Adegoke recalled how, when they first moved, their oldest would cry and ask, “Why can’t we walk? I want to walk,” and then ask, “Where are people?”
She also said her husband—who works in the music industry—was missing work opportunities because he wasn’t in the city. And over time, Adegoke reached a blunt conclusion: to raise happy children, she needed to be happy too—and she wasn’t.
By the time the family decided to reverse course, Adegoke framed it as a truth she wished more people focused on.
“I feel like a lot of people focus on what seems good on paper for the child or for the family,” she said. “But the mom is the nuclear center of all this, and if she’s not happy, that has a ripple effect into your children’s happiness.”
Ultimately, the Adegokes decided to move back to New York in 2025.
The move back wasn’t instantaneous. Adegoke said they found an apartment in Brooklyn in September 2025. but they couldn’t move until December because they had to sell their house and downsize their belongings. She said they couldn’t take much from their Texas home into their new place because the furniture wouldn’t fit. They kept one car because it was paid off, but she said they knew they wouldn’t use it often.
She tried to prepare her children—now 6, 4, and 3—for the change as much as possible. Because they homeschool, she incorporated the move into homeschool lessons. She said she got books about moving to a city for the kids and did activities to help them understand what was happening. The family also built anticipation with a countdown to the move and held a farewell tour of Dallas.
“We went to all of their favorite places over a weekend to say goodbye to them for the last time,” Adegoke said. They also had “a little goodbye party at home with their friends.” She said she involved the kids in the practical part of moving too, having them downsize toys and furniture.
By December, she said the family felt ready for the flight to New York.
That readiness came with major tradeoffs. The Adegokes ended up renting a three-bedroom. one-bathroom apartment in Brooklyn that is a little over 1. 000 square feet—much smaller than their Dallas home. but more expensive. She said their monthly rent payments are three times as much as their mortgage payments were in Texas. They had hoped for two bathrooms. but the one bathroom they have is large enough for all five of them to stand in at once.
The apartment is structured to fit a family of five anyway: one bedroom is for the couple; another serves as an office and playroom; the kids share a bedroom. Adegoke said two children sleep in a bunk bed. and the third sleeps in a separate lofted bed with a playspace beneath it. She said they built a custom closet system in the room to make the most of the 200-square-foot space.
In Texas, her two older children had wanted a parent to lie with them on the floor until they fell asleep, and her youngest liked to be held until he drifted off to sleep. Now, with everyone together at bedtime, Adegoke said they all fall asleep “perfectly.”
Even though the apartment is smaller, she said it works for them.
“In my opinion, in New York, your lifestyle is more simplified because the space is smaller,” she said. “It causes you to focus on what is really important here.”
The transition hasn’t been without reminders of Texas. Adegoke said their family still misses it sometimes. She recalled an instance when her eldest son’s pancake looked suspiciously like the Lone Star State. and he admitted between bites that he missed his grandmother and his friends. She told him it was okay to feel sad and miss home, adding that those were normal things.
After they talked, he looked out the apartment window, spotted the Empire State Building, and said he felt better. Adegoke said those moments of homesickness still come, but her family has “more ‘spotting the Empire State Building’ moments than not.”
Back in New York. Adegoke said. her children are adjusting in ways that surprise skeptics—especially people who assume parenting there is automatically stressful. She said. “People feel like living in New York with kids is stressful. ” but from a kid’s point of view. “they’re having so much fun. They’re scooting around. They’re looking at cool stuff.”.
She said they’ve been exploring destinations they spotted in a National Geographic book for kids about New York. and her children have been loving checking places off their list. She said all five of them are making New York their own. and she noted that her husband is taking advantage of being back in a hub for the music industry.
For Adegoke personally, the shift has brought more than location changes—it has changed how she feels as a parent.
One of the biggest benefits, she said, is that returning has helped her connect with herself more. She described living in New York as giving her more time to recharge. whether it’s by walking to a massage or meeting up with friends. “For me, it’s been a huge shift,” she said of being back in the city. “I’m just so much happier here.”.
She also said she feels less isolated than she did in the suburbs because “people are everywhere,” and she’s feeling more kinship with other New York moms.
If there’s a defining takeaway, she put it plainly: the move lets her whole family experience the joys of New York—from exploring new places around the city to spending time with friends. “Every day is like an adventure,” she said.
New York City Dallas Texas parenting housing rent mortgage Brooklyn apartment walkability music industry homeschooling family life