Ryan Zimmerman warns youth sports is losing the plot

goal of – Former World Series champion Ryan Zimmerman says youth sports still has the power to teach life lessons—but he worries parents and families are getting pulled into a travel-and-performance grind, with private equity involvement and rising costs leaving too man

On Memorial Day weekend, Ryan Zimmerman watched kids hit the links at a Bank of America event and said the same thing he’s been saying for years—youth sports only works when parents remember why it exists.

He didn’t talk about rankings first. He talked about the feeling of being on the field, and what comes after. When he was a kid, the field was “a safe space,” he said. “You can fail. you can succeed. ” Zimmerman told the crowd. adding that whatever happened in the game stayed there—then you moved on. “And then you go to the snack bar.”.

Now 41 and a father of four. Zimmerman argues that the culture around youth athletics has changed faster than the people trying to manage it. As he sees it. parents have lost their grip on what the odds look like. and too many families are trying to force a straight line to scholarships or pro careers—without accepting that most kids won’t follow that path.

He is careful not to dismiss the drive to compete. “We all want to win. We all want to teach lessons, but it’s gonna be OK,” Zimmerman said. Still, he said the pressure is real—and some of it is being intensified by the business side of the youth-sports ecosystem.

He pointed to the way youth programs are increasingly being handled by outside investors. “I think a lot of these organizations and travel (teams) are being bought up by private equity. and they’re putting a lot of people in tough situations. ” Zimmerman said. His point wasn’t abstract. He connected it to what he hears from families who feel they’re doing the right thing for their children while being pulled into schedules and costs that don’t leave much room for childhood.

Zimmerman said youth sports is supposed to be fun first. “That probably more than 99% of the kids here will never play professional anything. over 90-some percent of them will never probably even play in high school. And probably somewhere in the middle of that, will never even play in college,” he said. The reality. he argued. is that most kids are playing for a short window—then their time gets redirected. or shut down.

His concern is what happens when kids stop. Zimmerman said travel-ball schedules are “starting to price a lot of kids out and burn a lot of kids out.” He described a common tipping point: “A lot of those kids are stopping when they’re 13 and they’re missing out on those last two or three years.” Without that outlet. he said. some kids end up sitting at home—staring at screens or getting into trouble.

He called the situation “such an interesting thing to navigate for parents now,” and said the process begins with better understanding a child and a family—not a spreadsheet of other people’s success stories.

Zimmerman said he and his wife, Heather, have two daughters, Mackenzie, 12, and Hayden, 10, and two sons, Henry, 6, and Benjamin, 4. He admitted he’s not fully “in” youth sports yet, and part of that is by choice. Mackenzie has tried softball, lacrosse, and basketball. Zimmerman said she is “not a bad athlete,” but “she does what she does.”.

Hayden has tried softball, soccer, basketball, and field hockey. His younger sons are just entering organized play. The boys have started playing coach pitch baseball, which Zimmerman described as “nothing to write home about,” but “they love getting out there.”

Even with his own family’s involvement, Zimmerman said he understands how easy it is to lose perspective. “I think for the parents. you get caught up in driving everyone (around). and if you don’t play on this team. you’re not gonna do this. ” he said. He said families sometimes forget to be together. to communicate. and to make room for the part of youth sports that has nothing to do with outcomes.

He emphasized that his message depends on the child. If a kid loves it and parents are doing what they can to give them what they want, that’s different. “But our kids, they enjoy it and I’m here to help them do whatever they want, just support ’em however we can,” Zimmerman said.

Zimmerman urged parents to step back and talk directly with their children. “Sometimes what you think is the best for your kid, if you just talk to your kid, might not be what they think is the best for them,” he said. He offered a concrete example: skipping a tournament for a family vacation.

“Sometimes missing a tournament. and going to a family vacation. is worth a million times more than going to a tournament. ” Zimmerman said. describing what it looks like when schedules take over—parents and spouses driving from event to event and not even being able to be married because of the constant movement.

He said the conversation should start with a definition of success. “Ask yourself and your kids: What is your definition of success in youth sports?” Zimmerman said. He listed possible goals—getting a scholarship. becoming a first-round draft pick. or making millions as a professional athlete who never has to “work” again—and then gave his blunt estimate. “If those are your goals, your chances are 2% or less.”.

At a recent talk, Zimmerman told high school athletes something he said many people don’t hear enough. “I feel like nobody says, ‘Way to go,’ ” he said. He described the usual pattern at varsity sports events: people focus on what’s next, not what’s already achieved.

“If this is it, you did better than (most) other people. So celebrate that. Enjoy the moment. Don’t always think. ‘I gotta do this in high school to get to college.’ Just hang out with your friends and have fun. and work hard. do the things that you think that are gonna make you better. and then if it happens. it happens. ” he said.

Zimmerman broadened the advice beyond winning. “Ask yourself and your kids: What is your purpose in youth sports?” he added.

That emphasis landed at the Bank of America event. where the day’s structure reflected his argument that youth sports can be about community and participation—not just the next competition. Bank of America has enrolled more than 150,000 kids in its Golf with Us program. Through June 15. the company is offering kids ages 6-18 a free one-year membership to Youth on Course. which provides access to tee times for $5 or less at thousands of U.S. courses.

One participant. Everett Schlendorf. 15. described why he likes golf even though he is also a hockey player in the D.C. area who travels as far as Canada and Florida to play. He said he enjoys golf because it asks for more than one simple action. “That’s why I like hockey so much. and I think golf is interesting in that you have to hit a shot. and then you have to be with yourself for 30 seconds or a minute before you hit the next shot. That gives you time to be with your thoughts. and it helps me improve my psychology on things like that and just how I think about bouncing back from a bad shot or something like that. ” he said.

Everett said he doesn’t think hockey or golf will take him anywhere beyond high school, but he wants to play golf as an adult. He said the game could help keep him grounded.

Zimmerman returned to that theme when he warned that in affluent areas. the stakes can tilt toward money in ways that families don’t realize until it’s too late. “Especially in really affluent areas. like up here. you’re spending a ton of money and it’s a huge risk if you end up not getting a scholarship. if your kid doesn’t want to play when they turn 15 or 16. ” Zimmerman said. “I think we’ve sort of forgotten that youth sports is supposed to be fun.”.

He also said youth sports can bring communities together and teach life lessons on the field that kids carry into adulthood. Then he said something familiar from his own childhood, tying the message back to the simple joy of the day. “And I think most importantly to teach life lessons through what happens on the field. … You’re learning so many things that you’re gonna use forever in life.”.

Around the event, Zimmerman offered a quick way for parents to check whether pressure is distorting what they see. He said if you look at a youth sporting event within 10 minutes. you can spot the two or three kids who stand out. He estimated genetics are about 95% of the equation. “It’s glaring,” he said. “Especially (at) 12, 13. Those couple kids might be bigger now and might lose it but if you’re good, somebody’s gonna find you. You don’t have to pay a ton of money. You don’t have to do all this crazy Instagram stuff. I get it both ways. but it just seems like a lot of pressure on the kids at a young age. which is very detrimental. I think.”.

He said he understands the hard part for parents: with four kids, it’s difficult to commit to coaching. He recently found himself subbing as the head coach for a softball game. and during a mound visit he said he watched kids in the 9. 10. 11. 12. and 13 range who are still clearly in the “for fun” phase. “It’s so much fun to do sports with kids that age. 9. 10 to 12. 13 and that whole range. they really just have fun. ” he said. “I mean, they care. They want to win, they want to know who wins or loses. They get upset when they make a bad play. They get so excited when they make a good play. but literally 2 minutes after the game is over. whether or not they win or lose. they’re just more excited to hang with their friends. run around the field.”.

Walt Williams. who starred at basketball for the University of Maryland and played 11 years in the NBA and was also at the Bank of America event. offered advice of his own: teach kids to pay attention to what life hands them early. “Pay attention. ” he said. adding that his dad’s guidance was that smart people learn from anything and everything. while mediocre people learn mostly from things that happen to them. “But if it happened to me, I learned from it. And the dumbest people you know. they don’t learn from anyone. anything. because they think they know everything already.” He said the good thing is people can choose who they want to be.

Zimmerman’s message ended the way his opening did—back to the snack bar, and back to the idea that sports should still feel like childhood. “And when the game’s over, don’t forget to hit the snack bar or the beach,” he said.

The broader sales pitch around the event centered on youth-sports parenting guidance from Coach Steve. whose real name in the piece was Borelli. Steve Borelli, also described as “Coach Steve,” has been an editor and writer with USA TODAY since 1999. He spent 10 years coaching his two sons’ baseball and basketball teams, and his Coach Steve column is posted weekly. He and his wife, Colleen, are described as sports parents for two high schoolers. The source of the book reference included “Coach Steve’s new book. ” which is presented as a survival guide for parents dealing with youth sports’ tough moments. with an order link listed as Coachsteve.usatbook.com.

Zimmerman said he has talked about the experience with Hall of Famer Billy Wagner and fellow former MLB star Jeff Francoeur. whose sons have followed them into the game. Francoeur directs a youth sports podcast. and Wagner has started gearing instruction toward coaches. “teaching (them) and these parents to calm down. man. ” Zimmerman said. laughing. He framed the takeaway as simple: “It’s not the end of the world. It’s youth sports. We all want to win. We all want to teach lessons, but it’s gonna be OK.”.

In his own baseball story. Zimmerman said he was the Nationals’ first draft pick out of the University of Virginia in 2005 and debuted that summer. He played 16 seasons in the big leagues, mostly as a standout third baseman. He said injuries and bad years came like they do for everyone. but he described his professional experience as “fairly easy” compared with how fast other players learn the business side—learning what it means to get released. traded. or cut.

He said returning to youth sports after that was “really rewarding,” because it allows him to get around kids and see the energy of play before it turns into a job.

On Memorial Day weekend, his final plea was less about tactics and more about attention—what parents prioritize, how they talk, and what they decide success should mean. “Sometimes just take a step back, and just take a deep breath, and communicate,” Zimmerman said.

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