individualism and – A massive international study finds that people with a more individualistic mindset tend to feel romantic love less intensely, with researchers linking the shift to weaker connection and less vulnerability.
The romance story most of us grew up with—where love takes over your attention, your schedule, even your focus—may be getting harder to live out. New research, drawn from more than 61,000 adults across 81 countries, suggests that as individualism rises, the intensity of romantic love can fall.
The study doesn’t claim that love is disappearing. It points to a different kind of emotional experience: less “deep emotional bond” and less “commitment” feeling, even among people who are partnered.
Jaroslava Varella Valentova. at the University of São Paulo in Brazil. who wasn’t involved in the research. frames the trade-off in blunt terms. “Being completely in love and dependent [and] intensively thinking about one person may reduce your ability to work or study. etcetera.” She adds that when romantic focus softens. it may free energy for other relationships or hobbies.
That nuance matters, because the findings arrive in a world where individualism is widely understood to be growing. Julie Aitken Schermer. at Western University in Ontario. Canada. who also wasn’t part of the study. said she believes younger generations today are “likely to be more self-obsessed [and] more individualistic [than previous generations at the same age].” She pointed toward globalization and modern technologies like social media as possible drivers.
The mismatch is that the consequences for romantic love have looked unclear in earlier work. Marta Kowal. at the University of Wrocław. Poland. presented the new findings at the Love. actually and in theory conference in Edinburgh. UK. earlier this month. and said the reason the picture has been mixed before is that studies were often small and confined to just one or two countries.
In this study, researchers recruited more than 61,000 adults between the ages of 18 and 90 from 81 countries. The participants had been in a romantic relationship for anywhere from weeks to years. They answered online surveys that asked how intensely they loved their partner.
For that, the survey used a scale from 1 to 5. People ranked how strongly they agreed with statements such as “I feel a deep emotional bond with this person” and “I am committed to maintaining this relationship”.
They also filled out surveys, using a scale from 1 to 7, to measure individualism. Participants indicated how much they agreed with statements including “group success is more important than individual success” and “individuals should pursue goals only after considering the welfare of the group”.
When the results were tallied, people with a more individualistic mindset tended to experience romantic love less strongly. The researchers said the pattern held even after accounting for factors such as sex, age and economic background. They tested the same idea again in a separate group of more than 6000 partnered adults from 50 countries. and found similar results.
The mechanism—how a mindset might travel into the heart—comes down to connection and vulnerability. Thomas Curran of The London School of Economics and Political Science said. “If you’re constantly worried about you as an individual [and] the way you’re perceived as an individual. you feel a lot more competition because you think everybody’s an individual fighting for scarce resources.”.
In that environment, he argues, the way people interact changes. “So, whenever you’re interacting with someone else, you’re thinking, ‘how do I put my best face forward?’.”
Curran links that mindset to a specific cost: vulnerability. Loving intensely, he says, requires it. “This could make it harder for people to be vulnerable, which is a core part of loving intensely, says Curran. “You would find it hard to reveal your whole self to someone else.”
If the research describes what might be happening, it also leaves room for what could help. Schermer suggested practical ways to counter the slide from “me” toward “us.” Encouraging people to view themselves as part of a wider community—such as through talking therapy—could be effective.
Kowal’s team is now moving toward the next question: what this shift does to people beyond the feelings themselves. They plan to track about 2000 partnered people in Poland for one year to explore how the intensity of romantic love affects well-being.
individualism romantic love relationship psychology vulnerability social media well-being Poland study cross-country survey
So basically people don’t “fall” like before? Sounds made up.
I knew social media was messing with relationships. If everyone’s doing their own thing then of course love won’t be as intense. Also depends on the country right? Like my cousin in Texas is basically 100% individualist and he’s still in love.
Wait so if you feel less “deep bond” it’s because you’re not dependent?? That part is confusing. Like commitment just disappears because you like hobbies? I think this is more about attachment issues than individualism. And 61,000 adults across 81 countries sounds like a lot but also they can slice it however they want.
Individualism is reshaping love intensity… okay but love should adapt anyway. I feel like the headline makes it sound like people are worse now, when really maybe they’re just not obsessed in public anymore. Also “weaker connection” is such a vague phrase, like connection to who? your partner or everyone? social media definitely plays a role though. I’m not saying the study’s wrong, I’m just tired of studies blaming tech when half the time it’s the economy and stress.