grandparents providing – New AARP survey data puts numbers to a familiar reality for millions of Americans: many grandparents are effectively on call—sometimes every day—helping adult children shoulder childcare costs and rising living pressures. While many say they wouldn’t trade the
When Kasia Gay walks out the door, her day is already spoken for. The 69-year-old. who lives in Southern California. spends her time picking up her grandchildren from school. doing laundry for her son’s family. and keeping pace with the constant calendar of softball practices. swim meets. and award ceremonies.
Her grandkids typically spend one night per weekend with her. They “get upset when I leave,” Gay said, adding that she’s been described as “the ultimate grandma” because whenever they need her, “all they have to do is call and I’m there.”
The caregiving isn’t theoretical for Gay—it’s structured into her retirement. even after her life took a different turn. She previously imagined a retirement shaped by a trailer home and cross-country adventures with her husband of more than 30 years. That dream died with her divorce. Now, the reality of her days is tied to the needs of her adult children.
New AARP survey data gives a national picture of how widespread that arrangement has become. Among the 65 million grandparents in the United States, 15% care for their grandkids daily or almost daily. On average, grandparents spend more than 500 hours a year providing care—roughly the equivalent of 12½ weeks of full-time work.
AARP’s survey of 3,300 grandparents found those hours come with spending, too: grandparents spent an average of $2,654 on their grandkids last year, including more than $700 on gifts, celebrations, and treats, and nearly $400 on basic needs.
By AARP’s estimate, when you combine direct financial support with the value of unpaid care, the so-called “grandparent economy” is worth $904 billion.
Debra Whitman, executive vice president and chief public policy officer for AARP, said, “America runs on grandparents.” She called them “an economic backbone of our country” and said the role is too often overlooked.
For Francine Griesing, 68, the decision to step in has been practical as much as personal. She helps her adult daughter by providing at least 15 hours of free child care each week, on top of her part-time work as a lawyer.
Griesing said the push has been shaped by the reality that child care is expensive and that the cost of living for young families is demanding. She also described the move she and her husband made to be closer. After her daughter told them she was pregnant in 2024. Griesing said the first words out of her husband’s mouth were. “When are we moving to Utah?”.
She said it felt like an immediate answer: “So, there you go.”
In the AARP survey, 28% of grandparents said they or their grandkids’ families moved specifically to live closer to one another.
For many grandparents, there is joy in the work. Gay said she bonded with her grandson—now 11—when she helped him through virtual kindergarten during the COVID-19 pandemic. She described closeness with both grandchildren and said she “wouldn’t give up my grandkids for the world.”
But the data also captures the friction that comes when care becomes routine. AARP found at least 11% of grandparents say they feel taken for granted, and at least 13% say they feel physically taxed by the care they provide.
Whitman said grandparents “want to spend time their grandkids,” but that it’s “a lot to be a full-time caregiver” or to step in by helping with bills while they may themselves be retired and living on fixed incomes.
Gay described that tension in her own family. She said that while she loves the time she gets with her grandchildren, she recently felt unacknowledged for the long stretch of help.
“Lately I feel like they don’t appreciate it because I’ve done it for five years,” she said. She described taking a 12-day vacation and returning to a blunt message from the adults in the household: “When I came back. they told me. ‘You can never go again during the school year.’ And I’m going. ‘Excuse me?’”.
Still, Gay said she loves her grandchildren and the time they spend together.
Griesing’s experience is similarly affectionate, even with fatigue. She said she likes being a grandmother “more than almost anything in the world,” and acknowledged that little ones “run around and they need a lot of attention.”
“It’s not that I’m not tired sometimes,” Griesing said. “But I never feel like it’s a burden.”
The AARP survey doesn’t frame grandparenting support as a rare exception—it shows how often it has become part of daily life. When 15% of grandparents are providing care daily or almost daily, it means many families are building their childcare plans around retirements already under pressure.
The hours. the spending. the moves closer together. and the emotional toll—feeling valued at times. taken for granted at others—add up to a reality many Americans already recognize in their own households. For Gay and Griesing. the caregiving is not just something happening “in theory.” It’s a schedule. a commute. a set of expectations. and. for better and worse. a cornerstone of how families manage both time and money.
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