Wembanyama isn’t – After Victor Wembanyama was seen visibly emotional during a Spurs playoff win and refused to hide his feelings, a University of Michigan professor framed the moment as proof that caring openly can be a competitive advantage—and that hiding emotion often comes
Victor Wembanyama sat on the bench with his San Antonio Spurs teammates, visibly emotional as his team secured a victory over the Portland Trail Blazers in the NBA playoffs.
After the game, a French reporter asked Wembanyama why he believes athletes often struggle to display their feelings. Wembanyama didn’t reach for a polished answer. “Personally,” he said, “I refuse to carry the burden of having to hide my emotions.”
Brad Stulberg. a University of Michigan professor and author of “The Way of Excellence. ” heard that line and felt a familiar tension snap into focus. He thinks there’s an “epidemic of nonchalance”—a culture where caring deeply is often treated like weakness. something people are expected to hide. In that framework, Wembanyama’s answer didn’t just sound honest. It looked like a refusal to play by the rules.
Stulberg works in the University of Michigan School of Public Health, where he researches, writes about, and teaches human performance. He said Wembanyama is a case study that explains more than just a single personality.
A 7-foot-4 center from France, Wembanyama has become one of the biggest stars in the NBA in his third season. Stulberg points to how quickly his career has taken off, and how much of it has come from wearing his heart on his sleeve—including crying after leading the Spurs to the NBA Finals.
To Stulberg. that openness underscores a bigger idea: many people convince themselves they don’t care as much as they do. hoping indifference will soften the blow if something falls through. He sees that less as confidence and more as self-protection—a “built-in handicap.” In his view. protecting yourself from failure or judgment often means holding back from giving 100 percent of yourself.
Wembanyama’s willingness to care, Stulberg argues, can become a competitive advantage. Not because emotion on its own guarantees success, but because hiding it consumes energy that could otherwise go toward competing.
“So many athletes and people in general spend so much time and energy on putting up a facade of how they think they should act or how they think other people are going to perceive them. ” Stulberg said. “And that’s just wasted time and energy that could be used for competing. Give yourself permission to really lay it on the line. I think so many even elite athletes are self-handicapped in this way.”.
Wembanyama, for his part, has said he channels disappointment, jealousy, anger, and passion. Instead of trying to play a certain role, he embraces being himself by following his feelings.
Stulberg ties that style to a concept psychologists call “psychological flexibility”—the ability to experience a wide range of emotions without getting trapped inside any single one. In practice, it means avoiding acting on short-term urges.
“It’s the ability a lot of elite performers have,” Stulberg said, “where they have this big toolbox of drives and they’re able to match a certain drive to the moment or what’s called for.”
The hard part is knowing when an emotion is helping and when it’s starting to work against you. And Stulberg says that balance is still a learning process for Wembanyama.
He pointed to Wembanyama’s ejection for elbowing Minnesota Timberwolves center Naz Reid in the second round of the playoffs. The same emotional intensity that can fuel performance, Stulberg said, can also become a liability when it takes over.
To manage that. he recommends small rituals—simple tools such as a deep breath or a short phrase—to interrupt automatic emotional reactions and create a moment to choose a better response. “It’s practicing responding, not reacting,” he said. “Reacting is rash and very emotionally laden, and responding is more deliberate.”.
For Stulberg, the benefits don’t stop at the individual. When a team’s best player openly shows how much he cares. he says it can give others permission to do the same. Trust, he added, is built through authenticity. Vulnerability that strengthens friendships and relationships can do the same for teams by creating deeper bonds.
And the lesson extends beyond basketball, too. Stulberg argues that a willingness to care can strengthen lived experiences and lead to what he calls a “big and textured life.” In his view, the lows may be lower, but the highs are higher—the price for a fuller emotional life.
Holding yourself back, he argues, sacrifices growth and potential and also fulfillment, intimacy, and love, trading all of it for short-term safety and comfort. He calls that tradeoff a trap.
“You can either go through the motions and be superficially cool but actually boring,” he said, “or you can step into the arena, lay it on the line, care deeply, make yourself vulnerable and fully live your one and only life. The world needs more people who have the guts to care.”
Victor Wembanyama Spurs Portland Trail Blazers NBA playoffs Brad Stulberg The Way of Excellence emotional courage psychological flexibility vulnerability mental side of sports