Caregiver juggles dad’s dementia, husband’s lupus, family and job
Jennifer Cortes copes with her dad’s dementia, her husband’s lupus, raising her children and a job in Rochester, New York.
The “Sandwich Generation” is getting younger, imperiling Americans’ retirements, analysts said.
Sandwich caregivers, or those simultaneously taking care of aging parents and children, took on their dual care responsibilities at 34 years old on average, according to Care.com’s 2026 Sandwich Generation Report. That’s younger than the typical age of 40s or 50s for the Sandwich Generation and “one of the most stunning takeaways” of the survey, said the online marketplace connecting families with caregivers. Of the 1,000 Americans surveyed, 69% said their dual responsibilities began earlier in life than they expected, and 80% said the transition happened suddenly, leaving little time to prepare financially.
Not only do these caregivers end up feeling unprepared to take on the dual role, but balancing the costs of child care and senior care simultaneously is reshaping nearly every one of their financial decisions. The impact falls disproportionately on women, who have left the workforce in droves, according to Challenger, Gray and Christmas.
“Sandwiched caregivers cut hours, decline promotions, and sometimes leave their organizations entirely,” said Andy Challenger, chief revenue officer and workplace expert at the outplacement firm.
Adult children lose about $12,300 annually in income and out-of-pocket costs alone, medical alert company Bay Alarm Medical’s survey of 507 Americans shows. Once unpaid care hours are factored in, the cost of caregiving exceeds $25,000 a year, it said.
Why are so many younger Americans getting sandwiched?
The average age of sandwich caregivers moving down is likely due to shifting societal trends, said Jill McNamara, general manager of senior care for Care.com.
“People are having kids later in life, which means by the time they have a toddler or a kindergartener at home, their own parents are that much older too – often right in the window where they start needing real support themselves.” she said. “So you have young kids who need you and aging parents who need you, landing in the exact same years, instead of spread out the way it might’ve been for previous generations.”
Meanwhile, the aging parents Americans are helping care for are frequently the same people providing childcare for their grandkids, Challenger said. According to research from American Association of Retired Persons, nearly 70% of grandparents provide some level of care for their grandchildren, averaging more than 500 hours annually, or the equivalent of 12-and-a-half weeks of full-time work. Of that group, 15% provide care daily or almost daily.
“When a grandparent has a health event, it isn’t one crisis … It quickly becomes two,” Challenger said.
It’s never a good time, but is this particularly bad?
The timing couldn’t be worse, experts said. Americans are embarking on prime earning years at this age and saving early gives invested money the most time to grow, they said. Time allows compound growth, which is when you earn interest on the money you saved.
Seven of 10 adult child caregivers have taken a hit to their job or career to keep caring, and nearly 1 in 3 have raided or scaled back their own retirement savings, Bay Alarm Medical said. Six of 10 said they expect these years of dual caregiving will affect their retirement, with nearly 20% believing they may never be able to fully retire, the survey said.
But that may be the wrong approach, some experts said. “Stabilize your own finances first,” said Miklos Ringbauer, certified public accountant and founder of MiklosCPA Inc. “It’s like putting on your oxygen mask first on an airplane, before you help others.”
The least you should do for yourself is contribute enough to a company 401(k) plan to get the employer match, and then turn to taking care of others, advisers said.
Can Americans survive this?
Planning to avoid a crisis is key, McNamara said.
Sandwich caregivers “want to have the hard conversations with their aging parents before it’s a crisis, not during one,” she said.
A major area of focus should be plans for long-term care, experts said. Approximately 70% of people turning age 65 are expected to need some form of long-term care (LTC), according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. LTC encompasses a wide range of care from assistance with daily tasks to more complex medical care either at home, in a facility setting like a nursing home, or in a community-based setting like an assisted-living facility.
If LTC insurance is too expensive or you’re afraid of the use-it-or-lose-it nature of the money invested in it, consider a hybrid life insurance policy, said Rob Burnette, investment advisor representative and professional tax preparer at Outlook Financial Center. These fixed-cost policies ensure a payout either as care benefits or a death benefit to beneficiaries, so no money is left on the table if you end up lucky and never need care, he said. This helps keep caregivers from having to shell out their own money.
Government programs such as Medicaid or ones through the Veterans Affairs also are an option, said Joseph Fresard, attorney at Simasko Law.
Workplace help is also wanted, McNamara said.
Caregivers “want workplaces to stop treating this like it’s rare, because it’s really not. It’s becoming the norm,” she said. “I think, more than anything, they just want to stop feeling like they have to hide it.”
Companies need to realize “this is a workforce issue, not a personal issue,” Challenger said. When caregivers must leave or cut their hours, “that’s talent walking out the door, and it’s often the experienced, mid-career talent you spent years developing.”
“Flexibility is the single most important thing employers can offer to caregivers,” he said. “A doctor’s appointment for an aging parent doesn’t respect a 9-to-5 calendar. Neither does a sick kindergartener.”
If you happen to be one of those who unexpectedly fall into sandwich caregiving in an emergency situation, don’t panic.
“You don’t have to figure this out alone, and you don’t have to have it all figured out before you ask for help.” McNamara said. “That’s actually one of the biggest things our data showed us: 84% of caregivers told us they wish they’d asked sooner. So if you’re thinking, ‘that’s me, and I have no idea where to start,’ that’s normal, and there issomewhere to start.”
Care.com has a senior care advisor service where sandwich caregivers can talk to a master’s-level social worker to build a plan and a social channel called @wearethesandwichgen that people can tap for everyday questions, help, or encouragement.
The Family Caregiver Alliance and AARP also offer practical guidance for people caring for aging parents, and Eldercare Locator is a federal program that can connect people to local services in their area.
“You don’t have to wait until you’re drowning to reach out for help,” McNamara said.
Medora Lee is a money, markets and personal finance reporter at USA TODAY. You can reach her at mjlee@usatoday.com and subscribe to our free Daily Money newsletter for personal finance tips and business news every Monday through Friday morning.