After more than a decade living with Parkinson’s disease, Rachel Stein’s 78-year-old mother moved into assisted living in 2021, then returned to the family home when the illness worsened. Caring for her became too much for Stein’s mental and physical health, l
Rachel Stein learned to live on alert.
Her mother—78. diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease more than a decade ago—could still manage some independence at first. staying in her townhouse. But as the illness progressed, day-to-day tasks became harder. Preparing meals and caring for herself grew more difficult. and the family’s biggest fear sharpened around something simple and frightening: a fall while going up and down the stairs.
In 2021, Stein and her mother mutually decided it was time for assisted living, a short drive from Stein’s home. It cost around $7,000 a month. Stein said her mother, who had worked in social work, was lucky enough to have retirement funds to cover the fees.
Stein described the assisted living choice as a trade-off that never quite felt like relief. The facility was home to 160 other residents. Her mother didn’t like it—partly because it was too large and overwhelming. and partly because her Parkinson’s fatigue meant she often felt worn out and wanted peace and quiet. The food, Stein said, was horrible. She also couldn’t do the activities she was paying for, including using the pool.
Her mother still tried to signal what she wanted. Sometimes she would hint: “Oh, I wish I could live with you guys.” Stein said the family put that idea aside until two years ago, when she realized her mother was starting to get worse.
Stein wanted her mother to spend whatever time she had left with her. She and her husband invited her into their home with their two sons, ages 12 and 9. The space was there, and Stein said they were fortunate enough to make room. But caregiving came with a new version of the same risk. Her mother’s bedroom was upstairs, so she still had to tackle the steps.
Stein’s worry stayed tightly focused on falls. She said her sons, like other kids, would leave things around the house that could trip her. If they showered and left water on the floor, Stein would rush in to dry it. Their dog, Zoe, was “quite big” and would jump up—another moment Stein feared could knock her over.
“It was incredibly stressful,” Stein said. She works full time from home and would be on a conference call when her mother needed something—or when something went wrong. At one point. Stein said. she and her family joked that her mother “qualified as a frequent flyer at the ER because she was there so much.”.
The strain spread beyond schedules. Stein said she felt pulled between two worlds—being a wife, a mother, and a caregiver at the same time. There were moments. she recalled. when she found herself thinking. “Who is asking the loudest?” and having to decide whether to tend to her mother or her children. She told her sons, “Hey, guys, you can get your own water,” but her mother couldn’t do the same. In Stein’s account, the responsibility fell mostly on her.
Her mental and physical health suffered. The situation also strained her relationship with her mother. Stein said she loved her mother deeply, but both of them became frustrated at times.
Eventually, the family tried to bridge the gap by adding help. They brought in carers to walk with her, make some of her meals, and provide companionship. Stein said the carers were great, but the assistance wasn’t nearly enough.
In February 2026, Stein’s sister came to visit from Canada. After seeing how much worse Stein’s mother had gotten, her sister told her: “I don’t know how you do it.” Stein replied, “I don’t think I’m doing it well, and it’s becoming a challenge.”
Stein said her mother’s care needs had moved beyond what she could support—beyond what her mental and physical health could handle.
So they changed course again. Stein and her family soft-sounded her mother and looked for another assisted living facility together. Stein said her mother wasn’t too happy at first about the idea, but they searched anyway.
This time, the facility was different from the first. It was smaller, with a little over 70 residents, and Stein said it felt like a community. She described the moment the choice started to feel real: a group of ladies approached them. unsolicited. and said how much they liked the place. Stein said she tried the food and found it “really tasty.”.
That made a difference that went beyond comfort. By the end of March, Stein’s mother moved out to the new facility. Stein said she received the care she needed from qualified workers. including help getting in and out of bed and walking to the bathroom. She has recently been transferred to hospice care.
Stein now visits regularly—on her own or with the family. She said it’s good to see her mother settled, and she can spend quality time with her children. Her husband remarked that the kids don’t fight as much as they used to.
Stein framed the shift in plain terms: having their grandmother at home was workable “until it wasn’t.” Circumstances changed, and the family agreed—Stein said including her mother—that they were doing the right thing for her and for everyone else.
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