Why Dolly Parton crossed every divide
In a divided country, Dolly Parton won admiration from both sides. What was her secret?
Tim Curry and Dolly Parton – who both died Aug. 25, both at age 80 – are linked by more than a sad coincidence of timing.
Both had strong connections to the LGBTQ+ community. Both were, simultaneously, idols and allies.
For many gay people, they were role models. For many who are not gay, they modeled acceptance.
“They’re really nice to consider together, for their impact and what they represented,” said Matt Baume, author, podcaster and specialist in gay cultural issues.
Curry, the immortal Dr. Frank-N-Furter in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” (1975), also known for films such as “Annie” (1982) and “Legend” (1985), suffered from complications after a stroke in 2012.
Parton, an 11-time Grammy winner, entrepreneur, country icon and movie star (“9 to 5,” 1980; “Steel Magnolias,” 1989), died Aug. 25 after a private battle with cancer.
“They represent the outsider,” Baume said. “The person who takes pride in who they are, no matter how strange or different or how much they stand out. It’s not just a queer thing. It’s not just of the LGBTQ community. It’s for everybody. But it makes sense queer people would be drawn to them.”
Fans of Frankie
Curry, of course, let it all hang out. There was no mistaking his Dr. Frank-N-Furter, the fabulous Frankenstein who builds a muscleman in his lab, for anything but what he was: a “sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.”
But “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” which gained a massive cult following at midnight shows where viewers talked back to the screen and impersonated the characters, brought queerness to a mass audience. Gay teens, living in isolation – especially in middle and rural America – suddenly discovered their tribe. And kids who were not gay learned that it could be fun – rather than terrifying – to be mistaken for those who were.
“I’ve spoken to so many queer people for whom ‘Rocky Horror’ was a pivotal moment,” Baume said. “Not just discovering the film, but the community around it.”
He was one of those people. He discovered “Rocky Horror” not at a midnight screening but in the basement of a suburban house.
Cowboys’ night out
“I had this vivid memory of one night after a drama club performance, we all went to a cast party at somebody’s house,” he said. This was in the 1990s, in Connecticut. The cast party was for a local production of “Oklahoma!” so some were still in their cowboy costumes – what could be more camp than that?
“Somebody had a VHS tape of ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show,'” he said. “I had never heard of it, never seen it, had no idea what I was in for. I remember just feeling transformed by it. And transformed by watching it in a community of people like me.”
None of them knew the cues: when to shout “Lips!” and “Meatloaf again!” or how to do the “Time Warp.” Nor would it have probably mattered. They were all too stunned.
“We were sort of murmuring about it in hushed tones,” he said. “Like ‘Oh, my God, can you believe this exists?”
At the center of it all was Curry, in his fishnet stockings, high heels and lipstick. “He was reveling in being weird,” Baume said. “That’s really a gift.”
Dolly Parton stands her ground
In a way, Parton’s achievement was even more remarkable. As a country icon (“Jolene,” “I Will Always Love You,” “Islands in the Stream”), she was working in a conservative cultural space that is highly uncomfortable with – if not downright hostile to – gay representation, much less gay rights. Yet she didn’t flinch.
“I think everybody should be allowed to be who they are, and to love who they love,” she told Billboard in 2014. She championed marriage equality, though in her characteristically flip fashion. “I think gay people should be allowed to marry,” she said in 2014. “They should suffer just like us heterosexuals.”
She was equally dismissive of North Carolina’s 2016 “bathroom bill,” meant to restrict gender-nonconforming people to the bathrooms of their biological sex. (The bill was repealed in 2017.) “I just know if I have to pee, I’m going to pee. I don’t care where it’s going to be,” she said.
She hosted a “gay day” at her Tennessee theme park, Dollywood, and on another occasion publicly apologized to a guest who had been required to turn her marriage equality T-shirt inside out.
There are not too many deaths that would simultaneously prompt a half-staff American flag at the White House and a half-staff rainbow flag at The Lookout, a gay bar on San Francisco’s Market Street. But Dolly Parton’s is one of them. All over the country, LGBTQ+ people are mourning her.
“I think she was tapping into some fundamental values of compassion, of being decent to people, of being a loving person,” Baume said. “These are values that I think are not unique to the South, or being in a marginalized community. They’re not unique to being queer. These are human values.”
A walk through the park
Dolly, no less than Curry, was a formative influence on Baume. When he was 12, his family took him to Dollywood for his birthday.
“To their great credit, I think my parents realized that there’s something about this 12-year-old boy that is really going to appreciate going to this magical world overseen by this larger-than-life woman,” Baume said. “My parents knew that something about that would speak to me, and they were right.”
What Baume latched on to, instinctively, is the excessiveness, the larger-than-lifeness, of the place. A clue, in retrospect? Perhaps.
“I didn’t have any awareness of being gay myself,” he said. “What I had an awareness of was absolutely being on the outside looking in. Not fitting in with other kids. This felt like a place where you could really enjoy a campiness and abandon that wasn’t cool, but this was a place where it was. Where I didn’t have to feel self-conscious. I think that gave me permission to feel safe.”
And Dolly herself was very much like her park. Another reason for her huge gay following.
Go big or go home
It’s not merely that she was a nice person – though she was. And not merely that she was a talented person – though she was that, too. She was also an outrageous person. That, too, she had in common with Curry. “It’s a good thing I was born a woman, or I would a been a drag queen,” she said.
“Her style is so campy,” Baume said. “And the truth is, she really is a drag queen. She’s doing drag. With this over-the-top performance she’s doing, she’s as much of a drag queen as RuPaul or anybody else.”
She’s reported to have said: “Find out who you are. Then do it on purpose.” That’s why Parton movies like “9 to 5” and (especially) “Steel Magnolias” have a huge gay cult following. Her characters, like Curry’s, are proud, unapologetic, living large and loving it.
That’s why they’re such good role models for people who have been made to feel small.
“They’re modeling behavior,” Baume said. “Not by saying ‘this is how you should do it.’ Simply by living their values and giving people an example to imitate. I think that’s a great form of allyship. Like Curry says in ‘Rocky Horror’ – ‘Don’t dream it, be it.’ That’s beautiful advice for queer people. That’s beautiful advice for everybody.”