Laverne Cox Says Athletes, Rappers Hit On Her

Laverne Cox says being a trans woman has shielded her from narcissistic men in Hollywood, and she shared that famous athletes and rappers may hit on her but “would never date” her publicly. The actress and memoir author also described the personal moment that

Laverne Cox has learned to treat “blessings” as something you can feel in real life—not just in hindsight.

Speaking while promoting her new memoir, Transcendent, out now, the 54-year-old opened up about how being a trans woman has changed what she allows into her world. She said it has helped her stay grounded in Hollywood by keeping her from getting “too full of myself,” and that it “checks you.”

Cox described what that protection can look like in practice. She said that women colleagues of hers in her age range—famous athletes, rappers, and actors—have “kind of hit on me but, like, would never date me publicly because I’m trans.”

For Cox, that gap between attention and commitment has real emotional weight. She added that her transness has protected her from “a lot of things that a lot of other women experience in Hollywood that aren’t good things. ” including “a lot of narcissistic men.” Her message was blunt: “Rejection is really God’s protection.”.

In her telling, her journey isn’t just about what she’s been spared—it’s about boundaries. Cox. who has spoken about her traumatic childhood and how she has found healing and safety as a Black trans woman in Hollywood. said she’s learned to set healthy boundaries and. when necessary. avoid or cut loose potentially toxic people.

“Loving myself is about going to the doctor. eating. getting enough sleep. but also the people. places and things. ” she explained. “Who am I surrounding myself with?. Do I have people in my life who suck me dry. who make me feel bad about myself. who trigger my patterns and. if these people aren’t serving me. I need to let go of those people.”.

She continued that part of that work has meant letting go of “certain kinds of people that just are toxic and bring up old traumas,” or those who “don’t have healthy boundaries.”

That boundary-setting came into sharp focus in a relationship she later had to end. In her memoir and in a Wednesday, June 10 interview with The New York Times “Modern Love” podcast, Cox opened up about the pain of letting go of someone she came to realize “did not serve” her.

She said the person was her boyfriend of almost four years. Over time, she discovered he was an NYPD officer who voted for President Donald Trump three times.

Cox described the early part of that bond as something she felt deeply: “I was in sheer bliss with this man. ” she said. She explained that while they would disagree about political things. she initially framed it as “Problematic but not. like. offensive.” She also said she tried to give him grace. pointing to the way he grew up and the information he was consuming—what she described as having been “propagandized to.”.

But she said there was a moment in the relationship with the officer when she realized there’s a “soul connection” that can transcend politics. At the same time. she said she realized a person’s politics matter—especially because of how the policies someone supports or defends can harm communities that are already most marginalized.

The way she spoke about politics also tied back to a broader idea she expanded on during her exclusive conversation. In her comments to Us Weekly. Cox said she believes there is “a spiritual realm connection that we have that’s beyond politics and in history. ” but that “those things are material reality.” She said she couldn’t build a relationship and life with him because of his politics. while still holding onto the belief that “doesn’t negate the soul connection.”.

She emphasized the difference between those two things. describing politics and identity-related discrimination as part of the world we live in. “Those two things are different — things that are social constructs. ” she said. adding that being a Black trans woman is relevant “only really” because of discrimination that Black trans people experience. Cox also said she wished for a different kind of world. saying. “Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could live in a colorblind. genderless world?. But we can’t because of oppression.”.

Laverne Cox Transcendent memoir trans woman boundaries Hollywood narcissistic men NYPD officer Donald Trump Modern Love podcast soul connection Black trans woman