AI dependence – A survey of 3,500 Gen Z and Millennial daters in the U.S. finds that using AI regularly is a major turnoff—especially for Gen Z—spreading from general dating preferences to highly personal use like relationship conflict analysis, therapy-style advice, and even
The first message you send might sound like you’re being efficient. The next might feel like you’re hiding. For many single people, the issue isn’t whether AI is “smart,” but whether leaning on it makes a date feel less real.
In a survey of 3. 500 Gen Z and Millennial daters in the U.S. the dating app Hily found that using AI is not a flex—it’s a major turnoff for romance and potential partnership. Younger daters in particular treat AI reliance as a red flag. While 56% of Millennial respondents said they wouldn’t date someone who uses AI regularly. that figure rose to 64% among Gen Z.
The aversion spreads beyond general preference. More than half of Gen Z daters said they’d consider it a dealbreaker if someone used AI for career advice or spending decisions—compared with 46% and 44% of Millennials for those same uses, respectively.
As the technology gets more personal, the rejection intensifies. Three-quarters of Gen Z respondents said using AI to “analyze a relationship conflict” was a no-go. while 70% of Millennials said the same. AI advice that mimics therapy fares even worse: 69% of Gen Z said they wouldn’t date someone who used AI like a therapist. versus 60% of Millennials. When it comes to sex life health, the divide holds. Sixty-two percent of Gen Z and 53% of Millennials said that asking AI whether something in their sex life is healthy would be a dealbreaker.
Even long-term commitment doesn’t fully wipe out the unease. Fifty-one percent of Millennials said they wouldn’t marry a partner who used AI to help write their wedding vows, but 65% of Gen Z said they would still refuse.
Hily’s findings may look harsh given how widespread AI use has become. but a certified dating coach offered a blunt explanation for the emotional mismatch. Julie Nguyen. a certified dating coach at Hily. said. “Being dependent on AI is a turnoff because it feels like you’ re interacting with a filtered. hyper-optimized version of your date. not who they really are.” She added. “There’s something that can feel strange about not knowing if you’re interacting with their full authenticity and vulnerability.”.
The survey also suggests there’s a potential upside to stepping back. With AI dependence acting as a warning sign, not using it may read as a green one: 60% of Gen Z and 54% of Millennials said they would find a dating prospect “extremely attractive” if they never used AI to make personal decisions.
Critics have stacked reasons for the broader pushback as AI becomes more embedded in everyday life—environmental concerns. uncertainty over whether people can consistently get solid results. and new worries about AI’s impacts on people’s brains. And while attitudes could shift over time. the survey offers a clear snapshot of where many singles stand right now: in the middle of the search for romance. learning that someone’s AI reliance is an instant turnoff may be one of the most immediate reasons to avoid it.
AI dating Hily survey Gen Z Millennial daters relationship conflict AI career advice AI spending decisions AI therapist wedding vows personal authenticity
So basically if you use AI you’re a liar? lol
I mean I get it, if someone’s using AI to respond for them that’s weird. But therapy-style advice too? Like maybe they’re just trying to cope and not be annoying.
Wait this says Gen Z is more turned off… but isn’t Gen Z the one who writes like 10,000 texts a day? If anything they already use templates so AI makes sense? Idk I might be mixing up stuff. Either way dealbreaker for AI sex health is crazy, people Google that anyway.
This feels made up, like a dating app survey of 3,500 people isn’t the whole world. Also “the first message might sound efficient”?? Nah, the first message is always awkward unless you’re rich or good looking. If someone uses AI for spending decisions tho, that could be a problem, I’ll give them that. But acting like AI is automatically hiding… ok.