dads are – A millennial dad describes how fatherhood has shifted toward more hands-on parenting, but social support hasn’t kept pace. His meetup group for dads became a monthly lifeline—turning loneliness into friendships, playdates, and a wider sense of community.
On Father’s Day, the story many families tell is about presence—how the days slow down, how children need you, how time changes shape. For Eric Ginsburg, becoming a parent wasn’t just transformational; it felt like his life narrowed around one person, and then around the quiet parts no one sees.
He says he wanted to be as present as possible with his daughter. The shift was intentional. but it came with a cost that didn’t fit neatly into the celebration: free time evaporated as he and his wife tracked sleep and diapers. his book reading and news consumption plummeted. and travel ground to a halt. For much of it, he welcomed the change.
The struggle, he writes, was social isolation.
Making friends became “impossible,” and maintaining existing ones felt like strain. The inward turn became a “self-reinforcing cocoon,” he says, driven by what he experienced as a sharp lack of time that wasn’t about parenting.
Ginsburg argues that the problem isn’t uncommon for fathers. He says most millennial dads are spending dramatically more time parenting than previous generations of men. while still lagging behind moms on the “mental load” of parenthood. He also points to research showing men are less likely to reach out to a friend for emotional support. and he connects that to the way many men are taught—he describes a culture of suppressing feelings and acting like individualist islands.
In his own case, he tried to protect pieces of his former social life. Mostly, he didn’t succeed. But as his daughter approached her third birthday, things grew easier—until his son arrived.
The second time around. he says. caring for a newborn felt “infinitely easier.” He credits muscle memory and confidence built from the first round. along with a steady re-centering on fatherhood. Yet parenting two kids. he writes. ruptured the idea that he could keep chasing his old life. even in fits and starts. He needed something fundamentally different.
Before his son reached 3 months old, Ginsburg started a meetup group for dads. The concept was straightforward: a night out with other local dads, leaving the kids at home.
He invited dads he already knew, then broadened the call through his Instagram story. About a dozen men showed up, most of them people he hadn’t met before. When the night ended, he says the question everyone asked was when the next event would be. He hadn’t even planned that far.
Since then, he says, the group has settled into a rhythm of monthly meetups. The structure is deliberately informal—no website, no social media account, no venue rentals, and no budget. Still, a rotating cast of about 50 dads has shown up for at least one event, with newcomers continuing to appear.
He describes the hunger for something like this as overwhelming, pointing to a text he received that morning from a first-time attendee: “Dawg that was the best time I’ve had out by myself in a while.”
Ginsburg also describes a paradox he’s felt since becoming a parent. Parenting introduces him to more people—day care drop-off. gymnastics classes. neighborhood walks—but with kids around. “more meaningful connection is limited.” In his view. having space to connect with other dads on their own works like a cheat code: the shared experience of navigating challenges and joys becomes a base for understanding.
Less than a year in, he says, the group is already feeding deeper community. It has led to playdates, lunches, and birthday party invites. It has also produced practical exchanges—hand-me-downs for kids and books for dads. Because they are often in the same phase of life. he writes. it’s easier to integrate into each other’s routines with less friction than he has felt among childless friends.
He adds that he wasn’t the first to see fatherhood as lonely at times. He says he was partially inspired by his local Raleigh Stroll Club, which is building a similar space for dads. He also says he learned about the more advanced Dad Guild thriving in Vermont.
His recommendation is plain: if something similar doesn’t exist where you live, build it. He promises that other dads in the area are longing for it and that setting something up can be easier than people expect. For him, the payoff has been a “much fuller, richer and more balanced experience of parenthood.”.
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