Carson Daly says he downloaded Snapchat six months ago to connect with his 13-year-old daughter, Etta, and credits the app’s casual messaging for keeping their relationship steady as teens spend more time online. Child development experts say the approach can
Carson Daly didn’t start a parenting plan with books or lectures. Six months ago, he downloaded Snapchat.
On May 18. during an appearance on “Today with Jenna and Sheinelle. ” Daly leaned into the reality of modern family life. joking about how hard it can be to bridge the gap with a teenager. “I have a 13-year-old, Etta, who is doing great, who I never speak with,” he said to laughter. “Do you speak 13-year-old?. ‘Cause I don’t.”.
Daly, 52, then explained that he turned to the app specifically to reach his daughter. “I have literally communicated with my daughter, in particular, more via Snapchat than I have in real life,” he said.
What those messages look like, Daly said, is small and immediate. “I can say, ‘Are you OK?’ And then I’ll put some stupid emoji. And she’ll write back, like, ‘LOL,’ and all these little things are flying all over the screen,” he said. “As silly as it is, I am connected a little bit,” he continued.
That theme—connection without trying to force a style that won’t fit—comes through in the way Daly described his family. Etta is the second oldest of his four children. He also shares Jackson, 17, London, 11, and Goldie, 6, with his wife, Siri.
Child development specialist Siggie Cohen. a parenting coach and the author of the forthcoming book “YOU ARE THE PARENT. ” said families across the country are running into the same problem Daly addressed on air: parents want to communicate with teens. but teens often have different ways of talking. “We want to communicate with them, and they have very different styles of communication,” Cohen said. “It breaks down some barriers; it makes children feel more comfortable where they are.”.
Cohen said using Snapchat can be part of a healthy relationship—especially when parents keep the interactions grounded in the teen’s comfort. She encouraged parents who are struggling to connect to try small. low-pressure outreach. like slipping a note under a door or texting. and said Snapchat doesn’t fundamentally change that idea. “These small digital interactions can be a healthy part of a well-rounded relationship that also includes in-person activities,” Cohen said.
For Daly, the payoff is feeling present without stepping on the boundaries teens build. Cohen said Daly was “allowing his daughter to be herself in her comfort zone” while still “taking a step towards her.”
The worry some adults feel—about what it means when communication happens through an app—also came up in Cohen’s comments. “I know that a lot of people are alarmed (that) this is a sign of the times,” she said. “This is just another object that we basically have that allows us to feel comfortable with each other and meet each other on a level that makes us connect.”.
The deeper backdrop is how online life has become the default setting for teens. Nearly half of teens say they’re online constantly, according to 2024 data from the Pew Research Center, and 72% of teens say they sometimes or frequently check their notifications as soon as they wake up.
Kaitlyn Regehr. the author of “Smartphone Nation. ” said Daly’s “meet kids where they are” approach reflects the reach of Big Tech into everyday relationships. “It highlights how fully Big Tech has inserted itself into family relationships. to the point where communication between a parent and child is now being mediated through Snapchat. ” Regehr said.
Still, teens don’t describe social media as only harmful. Pew found that teens’ views have trended increasingly negative. but roughly 74% say social media helps them form connections and feel connected to their friends’ lives. Among TikTok. Instagram. and Snapchat users. Pew found Snapchat users were the most likely to say keeping up with friends and family was a major reason they use the platform. About three in 10 teens say they post or message on Snapchat daily.
That mix—comfort and connection on one side, risk and power dynamics on the other—is where experts want parents to be careful.
Regehr said parents should talk with their kids about algorithms and the potential for misuse by bad actors on social media. “We can help teens become more critical and empowered over the technology they use,” she said.
Cohen focused on another lever for bridging the gap: how adults respond when teens pull away. Teen years are when young people typically begin creating distance from parents and other adults. as they figure out who they are in relation to peers. That change can feel scary to parents, and Cohen said fear can sometimes turn into judgment rooted in misunderstanding.
Her advice was to shift from assumptions to curiosity. “We want to understand that our teens are changing right in front of our eyes. they’re learning and discovering the world that they are part of. not necessarily just our world. ” Cohen said. “In order for us to connect to them, we want to learn about their world, not judge it.”.
The sequence is plain in Daly’s account: he doesn’t try to replace real life with screens, he uses a tool teens already pick up on their own—then keeps the tone light, the questions simple, and the contact frequent enough to matter.
For parents watching their children grow more guarded, Daly’s Snapchat confession lands as more than celebrity chatter. It’s a reminder that staying close may require meeting teens in the space they’re already living in—while still talking about safety and keeping the relationship anchored beyond the glow of a phone.
Carson Daly Snapchat parenting teenagers Pew Research Center Big Tech online safety digital literacy youth mental health