Biden memo resurfaces as Trump skips son’s wedding

Biden memo – A long-ago memo from then–Vice President Joe Biden telling staff not to miss family milestones has resurfaced as President Donald Trump says he will not attend his son Don Jr.’s wedding over Memorial weekend, citing “circumstances pertaining to Government.”

President Donald Trump’s absence from his son Don Jr.’s wedding landed like a quiet rebuke—especially once a 2014 memo resurfaced that urged staff not to treat family obligations as optional.

Trump said in a post shared to Truth Social on Friday that he would be unable to attend the nuptials of Don Jr. and Bettina Anderson, which took place over Memorial weekend. He wrote that “circumstances pertaining to Government. ” along with “my love for the United States of America. ” would keep him away.

It came against the backdrop of a memo issued years earlier by Biden. Dated November 7. 2014. when Biden was vice president under former President Barack Obama. the message was addressed to his “wonderful staff.” Biden wrote: “I would like to take a moment and make something clear to everyone. I do not expect nor do I want any of you to miss or sacrifice important family obligations for work.”.

He spelled out examples of what counted as “family obligations. ” adding the list was “not limited to” items such as “family birthdays. anniversaries. weddings. any religious ceremonies such as first communions and bar mitzvahs. graduations. and times of need such as illness or a loss in the family.” Biden called it “very important. ” writing: “This is very important to me.” He added: “In fact. I will go so far as to say that if I find out that you are working with me while missing important family responsibilities. it will disappoint me greatly.”.

The memo, according to the way it was later framed when shared, points to an “unwritten rule” dating back to Biden’s time in the Senate. It ends with the sign-off: “Thank you all for the hard work.”

The timing of the comparison has sharpened the public reaction. The memo was posted to Threads by former U.S. Public Delegate to the United Nations Andrew Weinstein, an Obama and Biden appointee. Weinstein wrote alongside the document: “Joe Biden once wrote a memo saying he’d be disappointed if staff missed family milestones for work. Donald Trump is skipping his son’s wedding this weekend. ” adding: “Tells you all you need to know.” His post has been viewed 391. 000 times on Threads and has earned over 15. 000 likes.

Some critics seized on the contrast. One user said: “He can’t even make the effort for his own family, Trump is all about himself.” Others defended Trump’s choice to stay in Washington. One reply argued: “There’s a difference between being a staffer and being POTUS.”

Trump, for his part, explained his decision in more direct terms. In the Truth Social post about Don Jr.’s wedding. he said he “very much wanted to be with” his son and “the newest member of the Trump Family. ” but that the “circumstances pertaining to Government” did not allow him to attend. He also said he “feel[s] it is important for me to remain in Washington. D.C. at the White House during this important period of time. ” then offered congratulations to Don and Bettina and signed the post as “President DONALD J. TRUMP.”.

When reporters asked about the wedding earlier last week while Trump was at the White House. he hinted that tensions with Iran were part of his calculation. Trump said: “He’d [Don Jr.] like me to go. It’s going to be a small private affair. I’m gonna try and make it. I said, ‘This is not good timing for me. I have a thing called Iran and other things.’” He continued: “That’s one I can’t win on. If I do attend, I get killed. If I don’t attend, I get killed…by the fake news, of course.”.

The moral question surrounding Trump’s reasoning has been difficult to keep abstract because Biden’s commitment to family life is documented in his own words. In 2015, Biden spoke about his focus on family during an address to students at Yale University Class Day. The framework of that focus was shaped by the tragic loss of his first wife. Neilia. and their 1-year-old daughter Naomi. who died after the car they were in was hit by a tractor trailer while the family was out Christmas shopping. Biden said his wife and daughter were killed. while Beau and Hunter sustained serious injuries and there were doubts over whether they would survive.

Biden told students how his mother consoled him, saying: “Joey, out of everything terrible that happens to you, something good will come if you look hard enough for it.” He said that “something good” became the bond he fostered with his sons through regular family time.

From then on, Biden commuted four hours a day by train from Wilmington, Delaware, to Washington, D.C. “I did it because I wanted to be able to kiss them goodnight and kiss them in the morning the next day. ” he told students at Yale. Biden later married Jill Biden in 1977, and they went on to have a daughter, Ashley, in 1981. He continued to emphasize that commitment to family time.

Trump’s defenders point to the ways his family has long been interwoven with his public life. The article of record includes that Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner served as senior advisers to the president in the past. and that both of Trump’s sons have been involved in various Trump business ventures.

There’s also history from Trump’s younger years meant to show how family ties have been lived out in his orbit. In a 2006 interview with The New York Times. Eric Trump said his older brother. Don Jr. had “always been my best friend. a mentor…In a way. he raised me. My father, I love and I appreciate, but he always worked 24 hours a day.”.

The record also includes Don Jr.’s account of a break from his father. In a 2004 interview with New York magazine, Don Jr. revealed how he stopped speaking to his father for a year after discovering he had cheated on his mom. Ivana. with Marla Maples. Maples told People in 2016 that she effectively raised their daughter Tiffany Trump as a “single mother. ” saying: “Her daddy is a good provider with education and such. but as far as time. it was just me.” She added: “Her father wasn’t able to be there with day-to-day skills as a parent. He loves his kids. There’s no doubt. But everything was a bit of a negotiation.”.

More recently, Melania Trump described her own account of Trump’s relationship with their son, Barron. In 2012. she spoke warmly about what she called Trump’s “beautiful relationship” with Barron despite him being “very busy. ” telling Parenting.com: “He spends quality time with Barron. They have a beautiful relationship full of respect and love. ” and describing that they “play golf. spend time together. eat dinner together. and we enjoy family time.” She said the time together is “always a really special time. ” and also acknowledged: “He didn’t change diapers” when Barron was younger. but that she was “ completely fine with that” and it was “not important” to her.

For now, the dispute playing out in public is less about whether either man values family. It’s about timing—what qualifies as unavoidable, and what doesn’t. In Biden’s memo. staff were told the line was clear: family obligations like weddings and religious ceremonies were not to be sacrificed for work. In Trump’s explanation. the line is equally firm—government and a moment shaped by Iran. he says. kept him in Washington.

Newsweek has contacted the Bidens and White House for comment.

Joe Biden memo Donald Trump Don Jr. wedding Bettina Anderson Truth Social Threads Iran family obligations White House