What pride Americans must feel knowing the highest court in the land says it’s A-OK for a president to bulldoze a third of the White House without permission.
What’s the latest on the White House ballroom?
90,000-sq-ft White House ballroom under construction after East Wing demolition; costs jump from $400M to $600M.
I was working on putting our youngest child up for adoption and draining my retirement account so we could afford potentially tainted ground beef when I learned the joyous news: AMERICA IS GETTING ITS BALLROOM!
On Aug. 31, the U.S. Supreme Court gave President Donald Trump the green light to continue construction of the $400 million White House ballroom, a guaranteed morale boost for struggling Americans who value unnecessary government grandeur over food.
Trump celebrated the ruling on Truth Social: “I am pleased to report that the United States Supreme Court has just ruled in favor of the Ballroom/Military Complex being built without any further contingency, doubt, or threat. We are living in the Golden Age of America, and this Building will be one of the Greatest ever constructed in Washington, D.C.”
Thank goodness struggling Americans are getting a White House ballroom
I immediately ran out the front door, past the car I can no longer afford to put gas in, and shouted to my neighbors: “THE BALLROOM WILL BE BUILT! THE BALLROOM WILL BE BUILT!”
Most had lost their jobs to the weak Golden Age job market, so I knew they were home, but nobody came out to celebrate, likely because their children might have measles.
It didn’t matter. I was certain they shared my excitement.
A ballroom! A real, elegant ballroom that will actually probably cost $600 million and be paid for entirely by rich donors and corporations, except for the half that taxpayers will pay for whether we like it or not!
Struggling farmers surely cheered the Supreme Court’s ballroom ruling
I pondered the joy most Americans were feeling in that moment. What pride they must have felt knowing the highest court in the land signaled it’s A-OK for a president to bulldoze a third of the White House without permission to build a glitzy thing at a time when food insecurity levels are higher than they were during the 2020 coronavirus outbreak.
I envisioned a farmer in the rural Midwest sitting on a porch, looking out at the land that has been in his family for generations. The farmer recently had to sell that land to keep from declaring bankruptcy, his livelihood wiped out by Trump’s tariffs. He appears sad, but then he glances at a news alert on his phone.
“Yes!” the farmer exclaims. “Ballroom!”
I’m sure that imagined scene was playing out everywhere.
Republicans gave us war and high prices, but at least Trump gets a ballroom
What a relief it was for all of us one-issue voters whose one issue is “increased federal opulence during difficult economic times.”
I don’t care if Trump and the Republican Party are overseeing a catastrophic war with Iran, eye-popping gas prices, inflation that’s outpacing wage growth, an unnecessary trade war with Canada, cuts to Medicare drug plans and a summer of explosive diarrhea and food recalls.
I care solely about the one thing President Trump appears to care about more than anything.
Our lives may be worse in every measurable sense. But by gosh, folks, America is going to have itself one heck of a ballroom!
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk.