raising my – After a Lunar New Year visit to Qingdao, a Los Angeles mother realized her carefully built routines had slipped—almost automatically—under the comfort of extended family. From aunts feeding with “just one more bite” to her own late-night fallback into spoon-fe
The first time it happened, it wasn’t loud.
My aunt chased her granddaughter around the living room with a spoon and a bowl of rice and vegetables. My niece sat transfixed by the TV, her mouth opening and closing automatically as my aunt slipped bite after bite. My daughter—three years old and watching quietly beside them—looked on without comment.
I needed to say something.
“You shouldn’t feed her like that,” I said. “It’s not good for her.”
My mother shot me a look from across the room—the kind many Chinese mothers can give without saying a word. I went silent before my aunt could respond.
Nearly a decade after moving abroad, this was the first time I had brought my daughter back to China. We were in Qingdao, about halfway between Beijing and Shanghai, in town to celebrate Lunar New Year and spend time with extended family.
parenting China Los Angeles Qingdao Lunar New Year family routines childcare cultural differences
A spoon did what now lol
So she basically got bullied by relatives to feed the kid? Like I feel that, family be like “just one more bite” and suddenly you’re the bad guy.
Wait, I’m confused. The title says “rewrote rules” but it’s just a spoon and some eating?? Are we acting like that’s a cultural takeover or something. Also why is the mom so shocked, aren’t Chinese families always feeding kids more? Seems kinda obvious.
This feels like one of those “I went home and my habits didn’t work” stories. Like the aunt is feeding with a spoon and the mom is stressing, but then everyone’s just doing what they do. Lunar New Year + family = chaos, period. Not sure the spoon “rewrote” anything though, seems more like mom realized she can’t control everything, which… yeah, happens everywhere.