She moved in with three strangers after college

moved in – After graduating in 2023, she returned to Northern California and took a job in San Francisco—without knowing anyone there. After months of failed roommate matching, she turned to Facebook groups and found three women strangers to share a lease. Nearly two yea

When she graduated from college in 2023, she knew she wanted to return to Northern California, where she was born and raised. For six months, she lived with her parents in the Bay Area suburbs. Then she accepted a job in San Francisco—and needed to move closer to the city for work.

The problem wasn’t just geography. It was loneliness. Even though she’d grown up in the area, all her friends had scattered across the country. She didn’t know a single person in San Francisco.

She debated living alone. But she described herself as a natural homebody, someone who wanted roommates to help push her outside her comfort zone and be more social. Splitting bills was also part of the appeal.

She tried to connect with distant friends of friends, but preferences never aligned. Nothing worked out. So she expanded her options and turned to Facebook groups of people looking for roommates in San Francisco.

After hours of scrolling through posts—and vetting people through Instagram and FaceTime calls—she found three women to live with: three strangers.

Signing a lease and moving in with people she didn’t know was terrifying at first. But nearly two years later, she says she can’t imagine her San Francisco life being as full without them.

In her case, living with strangers didn’t just fill an empty room. It created momentum. She had built-in “exploration buddies,” and dividing up chores became easier.

The timing mattered. Just one month after they moved in together, her roommates cheered her on as she ran the San Francisco Marathon. It was her first-ever half-marathon.

All three of the roommates were from out of state, and like her, they didn’t know anyone else in San Francisco. That meant none of them had the “comfortable default” of staying inside an existing circle. The group was equally motivated to get out, explore, and say yes to whatever came up.

During their first few weekends living together, they bar-hopped across their neighborhood—she described it as feeling like being a freshman in college again, except their campus was now an entire city.

Over time, the strangers became friends through shared outings. They started attending a running club together. They bought tickets to attend the Outside Lands music festival on a whim.

And the encouragement kept arriving in real moments, not just good intentions. She was surprised, she said, that her three roommates showed up to cheer her on as she ran the marathon so soon after moving in.

She also believes the arrangement changed how she behaved inside the apartment. If she had lived alone with friends she already knew well. she doubts she would’ve felt the same push to explore and branch out. With a familiar group. she says. it would’ve been easy to stick with what’s comfortable—staying at home or repeating the same routine places—rather than trying something new.

The chores were another place where the difference showed up.

In the past, when she lived with friends, she said there was always a fear of ruining the relationship. Unspoken tensions could build, and chores could remain unfinished. She described situations where friends would leave the kitchen and living room a mess for days. but she didn’t feel comfortable speaking up because she didn’t want to be seen as the “nitpicky one” in her group—or risk jeopardizing a long-standing friendship.

Now, living with roommates first—and with people she didn’t have a history with—she says she feels confident voicing what she needs. If one of them doesn’t clean, forgets to lock the door, or neglects to take out the trash, she always feels able to ask them to pitch in.

Not everything, she admits, is perfect. There are setbacks to living with strangers: the initial awkwardness of getting to know new people, and the possibility of incompatible living styles.

That’s also why she’s glad she spent time vetting her would-be roommates via video calls and messages before signing a lease. She says that helped reduce awkwardness and ease some of her anxieties.

She’s also grateful that the search itself helped her make new friends before she even arrived in San Francisco. Even though living together didn’t work out for some people she met, she still keeps in touch with several people she met in those Facebook groups.

For her, the overall verdict is clear. She feels lucky that it worked out.

She’s glad she kicked off a new season of postgrad life by seeking out new people to live with. and she says there are no plans to move anytime soon. But if she relocates to a different city. she expects she’ll be right back on Facebook—scouring groups of strangers for roommates—because she’s eager to share a home with unfamiliar faces again.

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