Pandemic trapped a surrogate with baby Emily for eight months

pandemic trapped – In early 2020, after border closures blocked the intended parents from traveling to the United States, a surrogate caring for baby Emily ended up keeping the child for eight months—while staying in constant contact with the parents and facing the pain of sayin

The first time Sherry Santana de Leon considered becoming a surrogate, it wasn’t a decision she made lightly. When she began looking into egg donation, she didn’t meet the requirements. But the idea of helping another family stayed with her.

In 2015, she brought it up with her husband, Benjamin. He wasn’t immediately on board, she said—because it isn’t just practical, it’s emotional and physical too. At the same time, she was juggling nursing school and a full-time job, and everything felt overwhelming. Eventually, she told him she was going to apply, and she needed him to see where it could lead.

Benjamin asked for time to research, and she said those conversations were a turning point. Once they spoke with someone who had been a surrogate, his understanding became personal. She applied and was matched for a first journey that was already meaningful. But the second one became something she never could have anticipated.

The intended parents—who had already had one child through surrogacy and were expecting another baby she was carrying—asked if she would carry a second child for them. Their situation was. she said. heartbreaking: another surrogate they had worked with had lost two pregnancies. and they had a limited number of embryos left. She told them she needed to see how the first pregnancy went before agreeing.

After she delivered safely via c-section and they knew both baby and she were healthy, they moved forward. She delivered the embryo that became Emily.

By the time Emily’s pregnancy came around, none of the adults involved knew what was coming. In March 2020. she said it became clear the world was changing fast—talks of borders closing and flights being canceled felt unreal in that moment. With her due date in early June. she remembered turning to Benjamin and asking a question that kept coming back: “If something happens and they can’t get here. could we take care of the baby?”.

They discussed it seriously. She said she was already out of work due to the pregnancy and her nursing role, which could have put her at risk during that time. In practical terms, they believed they could make it work if they had to.

Then, in May, the question stopped being hypothetical. She said the intended parents were unable to travel from China. and she was asked if she would be willing to care for Emily until they could come get her. She also said she was told that if she couldn’t. the child might need to be placed in a children’s home temporarily.

“That wasn’t something I could accept,” she wrote. She said she had spent part of her own childhood in foster care and understood what temporary separation can feel like.

For her family, she said the answer was immediate: they would take care of Emily.

When Emily was born, she came home with Sherry and Benjamin. Not as their daughter. she clarified. but as a child they were responsible for—something they would need to love and protect until her parents could be there. From the beginning, the family prepared themselves for the reality that Emily would eventually leave.

Sherry said she made sure her kids understood that too. but she also recognized the difference between knowing something intellectually and living it day by day. Emily became part of their routines and milestones. She said Emily started calling her “mama. ” and while it was natural. Sherry had to remind herself constantly that it was temporary.

The bond grew anyway. She said she breastfed Emily the entire time, which deepened her connection. Throughout those eight months. she described the pandemic as reshaping the experience—something she compared. in part. to fostering. a role she said she had felt drawn to because of her past. It also gave her, she wrote, a sense of purpose that went beyond anything she expected.

During the pandemic months, Sherry said she stayed in constant contact with Emily’s parents. Even after Emily’s father was eventually able to travel, the connection didn’t stop. She said they called regularly through FaceTime. especially when he had to quarantine with Emily in a hotel after returning to China.

Those were hard weeks, she wrote. Emily was fussy and overwhelmed by the change. Sherry said hearing their voices could calm her, but ending the calls could make things harder too—because the family relationship, for Emily, was also shaped by timing and distance.

When the time finally came for Emily to go home, Sherry said it was everything she thought it would be and more. She described it plainly: it was hard. Her kids cried. She cried. She said the house felt quiet afterward, like there was a hole they didn’t know how to fill.

Still, she said they knew the outcome was the one they had worked toward all along. Emily adjusted quickly, particularly after being reunited with her older brother, whom Sherry said she had also carried.

A few months later, Sherry said she became pregnant with her youngest son—a surprise, since she hadn’t planned to have another baby after three C-sections. She said it helped the family heal. It didn’t replace what they felt for Emily, but it gave them something new to hold.

Years later, she said they still check in from time to time. Emily doesn’t know who she is anymore, she wrote—and that’s okay. In her view, surrogacy was never meant to be about being part of a child’s life long-term.

It was about giving the intended parents a chance to have a family in the first place—and making sure the child could be cared for when her parents couldn’t be there.

Sherry said she wants people to understand that surrogacy is more than money. It is emotional and complex, she wrote, and it requires a strong support system. She also emphasized the clarity needed before agreeing: you’re carrying someone else’s child. and you must put the intended parents’ well-being and the baby’s health first in every decision.

In the end, she wrote, placing the baby into their parents’ arms—or, in her case, caring for the child until that moment finally arrives—changes you. “You gave a family something they couldn’t have on their own,” she wrote. “And that changes you forever.”

Sherry Santana de Leon, 34, grew up in San Bernardino, California. She is a surrogate and biological mother, and she works as a nurse.

surrogacy surrogate mother baby care COVID-19 international travel China foster care pandemic c-section nursing