I was in third grade when I started to fear math. Division and fractions gave me the worst anxiety. Every day when my teacher asked for my math homework, I’d say, “I put it on your desk,” knowing full well I hadn’t done it.
My siblings had no problem with math, but it was so hard for me that I wondered if I had a learning disability.
In college, I decided to become a teacher after discovering my love for working with kids at a daycare center. I began my first year teaching in the fall of 2024. I felt excited to teach fourth grade, but I also worried I wouldn’t understand all the math content I was supposed to teach and that I’d pass on my math anxiety to my students.
Honesty Creates Connection
When the fourth-grade teaching team met prior to the start of the 2024-25 school year, I confessed to my colleagues, who were all math whizzes, that I wasn’t very good at math and that it scared me. Instead of making me feel silly or stupid, they were so gracious and supportive. They said, “We’ve got you,” and they did.
As it turned out, we were all nervous because our district was rolling out a new curriculum. As we looked through the materials, I found it comforting to know that we’d all be learning and finding our way together. For once, I didn’t feel so alone in math. Being honest created a sense of connection with my colleagues. It helped us approach the new school year as a team.
More Than One Solution
Even with my colleagues’ support, I was scared when I taught the first math lesson. I remember leaving that day, feeling like I had completely bombed it. But the next day, I realized I was the only one who thought so. My students loved it and couldn’t wait to jump back in. The problem wasn’t math; it was my self-doubt. I just had to have the same confidence in myself that I had in my students.
As the weeks went by, math actually started to feel fun. We did hands-on activities. We played math games online and in centers. Students collaborated, talking through their thinking and teaching each other. It was incredible to watch them enjoy a subject that had caused me so much stress.
My biggest “aha” moment came when I realized that there isn’t just one way to solve a math problem. Growing up, I thought math was rigid — one method, one answer — and that if I didn’t get it, that was on me. I was surprised to discover that there are many different ways to solve problems, and that exploring and comparing strategies is beneficial to students’ learning.
In my classroom, I noticed that using multiple strategies to approach problems made math more accessible for my students. Even those who struggled found methods that made sense and worked for them.
That approach sparked a new kind of excitement about math. During a lesson on different division methods, my students ran outside for recess and wrote division problems all over the concrete. Then they’d jump up and say, “Look at how I solved this!”
Vulnerability Builds Trust
Fractions were another story. Research shows that many children have trouble with fractions, and my students were no different. I even brought in candy bars and broke them into pieces to make the abstract concept tangible, but I was met with blank stares.
I thought back to what I needed as a student and decided to be completely transparent. I admitted that I had struggled with fractions at their age and that it took me a while to learn them. Hearing that made my students feel so much better. They knew they could ask me questions and admit their confusion without judgment. My openness about my own math struggles made it safe for them to share theirs.
The next morning, one student handed me a note, thanking me for helping her understand fractions. I cried when I read it and realized that I had reached her in a way that not only helped her grasp the math but also helped her believe in herself.
I feel like I have become a more confident teacher through all of this, but I’m still figuring out how to reach those low-level kids (the kind of kid I used to be). Sometimes it does not click for them once in a lesson. It is a challenge because not all students respond the same way. Some kids need one-on-one support when learning a new skill. That’s hard for a teacher who has more than 20 kids in a classroom. My school added interventionists this past year, and that was truly a blessing. She and I communicated consistently, and she was able to pull those who struggle and reach them in a different way. As a new teacher, I hope to learn and become better on how I can implement extra guidance inside the classroom on my own if there’s ever a day I don’t have the help from an interventionist.
A thank you note for Brenna Kirkpatrick
Mistakes Are Part of Learning
I also talked openly with my students about how productive struggle in math is part of the learning process. When I was in school, I was so afraid of making mistakes on my math homework that I didn’t even try. But mistakes can play a powerful role in learning if we are brave enough to make them.
Students’ mistakes also provide a window into their thinking. I like to tell my students, “If I don’t see your mistakes, then I won’t know where to help.”
One day, I found one of my strongest students crying because she couldn’t solve a problem. I told her, “I’m not expecting you to leave here today knowing how to do this. I just need you to try.” She did, and afterward she said: ”I thought I couldn’t do this. You told me I could if I kept trying, and I got an A on the test.”
When students feel safe enough to take risks and persevere, it not only builds their skills but also their confidence.
At the end of the school year, I literally gasped when we received our West Virginia General Summative Assessment scores. My class had the highest math scores of all the fourth-grade classes at my school.
I used to be ashamed of my math struggles, but I’ve learned how to turn my biggest weakness into my superpower. I’m now teaching third grade, the same grade where my math fears began. It’s amazing to think that I used to feel so lost, but now I’m the one helping students find their way. My students love learning math, and that has made me love teaching it.
Confidence in Yourself and Your Students
If I could share one piece of advice with other new or aspiring teachers, it would be to have confidence in yourself. Math is not so scary. It’s actually fun when you believe in yourself. Take a deep breath and say, “I can teach this lesson. I can do this.”
It’s equally important to believe in our students and actively encourage them every day. When my students are working through problems, I tell them, “Great job! I love seeing your work.” When they get the correct answer, I say, “Fantastic! You did such a good job.” If I see students struggling, I tell them, “Good work! Let’s try that one again. You’ve got this.”
Those words of encouragement — for our students and ourselves — keep us motivated and excited to do our best every day. Whether we’re teaching or learning math, we all want to feel capable and supported. When we set high expectations and believe we can succeed, amazing things can happen.