Martin Short has never been to therapy, even after losing several people close to him.
The Only Murders in the Building star recently opened up to IndieWire about how he deals with grief and why he’s learned to work through it without therapy.
“I’ve never been in therapy,” Short explained. “Never. Never.”
Handling grief
Short said losing his brother and both parents early in life taught him how to live with that kind of pain.
“When my brother and parents died, and I was now in this big house with the housekeeper at 19 and 20, it was Hamilton, Ontario, 1970,” he said. “So it wasn’t about therapy; it was about no one.”
During that time, the actor said he stayed busy biking around Hamilton, painting and writing.
“I didn’t know anyone. In Hamilton, it’s just you,” he recalled. “I biked all over the city. I’d bike up the hills and paint and write.”
Short was the baby of the family, and his older siblings became protective of him.
“I was the youngest of five, so now there’s four. But the [others] took over aggressively, nurtured and worried, and that’s how I continued,” he said.
‘You learn to do it’
Short’s older brother died in a car accident when he was 12, and he lost both of his parents while he was in college.
His wife, Nancy Dolman, died from ovarian cancer in 2010, and his daughter Katherine died earlier this year at 42.
Despite everything he has been through, Short said he has learned to accept grief rather than fight it.
“You learn to do it,” he said. “Listen, ideally, if no one needed a crutch for anything, wouldn’t they be stronger?”
‘It’s okay to be sad’
That doesn’t mean Short is against therapy. He said he would turn to a professional if sadness ever hit him out of the blue and he couldn’t figure out why.
“Believe me, if I was suddenly depressed or in despair, but didn’t know why, then I’d run to a therapist,” he explained. “But I’ve never been that way. I’m sad now, but you know what? I should be sad now. It’s okay to be sad.”
Having a strong support system has also helped Short through some of the hardest moments in his life.
“When loss and grief suddenly or subtly encompasses your life,” he said, “it’s your friends and family that help you through and remind you of the journey. So you find the light.”
‘Marty, Life Is Short’
Lawrence Kasdan’s new documentary, Marty, Life Is Short, looks at how the deaths of Short’s brother, parents, wife and daughter affected his life.
The comedian said it was “difficult” to watch an early version of the film, but he felt it was worth seeing through to the end.
“When I saw it in its raw form, I thought, ‘It’s honest, and it’s necessary in its life,’” he said.
The actor emphasized that the documentary was “not healing” for him, adding, “It’s just as Mike Nichols always said: ‘Just keep the conversation going.’ And that’s what you do.”
Short continued, “When your dear friend suddenly dies, you keep talking to that friend. You know what he’s going to say or she’s going to say. You’re used to the answers, you know.”