Jennifer Lopez opened up about the self-discovery that followed her divorce from Ben Affleck, describing a period of sitting with puzzling emotions, canceling her tour, and confronting patterns she says shaped past unhappiness.
Jennifer Lopez described a moment so still it hurt—when everything stopped moving and she was left with her own thoughts.
On the Monday. June 15 episode of the “Smartless” podcast. the singer looked back on the period of self-discovery that came amid her divorce from ex-husband Ben Affleck. “There comes a point where it’s all so puzzling and wrong. Where you have to sit there. After my last divorce, I just sat there,” Lopez, 56, said. She explained that she canceled her tour and sat with it, telling herself, “You need f***ing figure yourself out.”.
Her divorce from Affleck, 53, was filed in August 2024 on the two-year anniversary of the couple’s Georgia marriage celebration. They settled their divorce in February 2025. Lopez also revisited the longer arc between them. noting that Affleck and she were together in the early 2000s—when they even got engaged—before splitting in January 2024 without tying the knot.
In the “Smartless” conversation. Lopez said the hardest part wasn’t just what happened. but how she took a close look at her own role. “[I asked], ‘What is going on with you?’ Forget about everybody else. There’s nobody to blame here except yourself in a certain way,” she said. “Not that people don’t behave in a way that’s not great. But, ‘What are you doing?. What do you have going on?’ That was a turning point for me. That was a couple of years ago now.”.
She connected that turning point to patterns she recognized in herself—patterns she says contributed to unhappiness. “Looking at those patterns. I was able to go back to that little girl [I once was] and really look at her. ” Lopez said. She painted an image with striking clarity: “That little girl with the ripped nightgown — I can see her right now. … Dirty feet, walking around barefoot all the f***ing time. And just kind of going like, ‘You did this. You did all of this. Give yourself a little f***ing something. A little love!. Stop looking for love in other things and give it to yourself.’”.
Her sister Lynda Lopez also offered guidance that landed with her. Lopez said Lynda encouraged her to be her own keeper instead of worrying about everyone else. “These are all little pieces,” Lopez said. “I feel like the journey is little puzzle pieces that you fit in little by little as you sit there with the oat milk and go. ‘It’s me.’”.
Even with the divorce settled, Lopez is now facing another emotional milestone. She is preparing for a major change as she becomes an empty nester after celebrating her twins Max and Emme graduating from high school earlier this month. Lopez shares the twins, both 18, with ex-husband Marc Anthony.
The day before her “Smartless” comments. Lopez also addressed the emotional reality of the family shift on “Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen” on June 8. “It’s an emotional time,” she said. “It’s been the three of us. People have come in and out of my life, but it’s been the three of us. They’ve always been there, and I’ve always been there.”.
As for whether romance could be next, Lopez shut down the idea of finding someone through Instagram DMs. On the show, she joked to Andy Cohen, “I think [anyone interesting] would be able to find me, no? If you really wanted to find me, you could find me.”
Between the stillness she described during the divorce period and the next chapter forming around her children, Lopez’s message was consistent: the turning points came when she stopped looking outward—and started working out what she needed to give herself.
Jennifer Lopez Ben Affleck Smartless Smartless podcast divorce August 2024 filing February 2025 settlement Georgia marriage anniversary Marc Anthony Max and Emme empty nester Watch What Happens Live Andy Cohen Instagram DMs