Influencer Jeff Nippard opened up on Instagram about depression after the death of his fiancée, Stephanie Buttermore, describing how he’s been staying in a friend’s basement and returning to basic strength training—even when his desire to work out is at its lo
Jeff Nippard didn’t post a motivational clip this time. He posted himself moving through something heavier.
On Sunday, May 24, the influencer shared videos of training while writing that he has been staying in a friend’s basement for the past few weeks. Down there, he said, his friend has a barbell and a dumbbell—so he’s been “getting back to my roots with some basic strength training again.”
Nippard said the limited setup has its own pull. “A part of me likes having a minimal set up like this because the constraints force me to get creative. ” he wrote. Then he added the line that carries the real weight of the update: “Working out during grief has been one of those things that I really don’t want to do but I’m glad I did once it’s done.”.
He explained that his depression “has been bad,” and that it’s taken a visible toll on his strength. “My strength is down a lot and for the first time I can remember. I have no real desire to workout. ” he wrote. Even so. he described a small ritual that helps him start: telling himself. “Go in and lift the empty bar up and down 10 times. that’s better than nothing.”.
If he still wants to stop after that, he said he does. If it feels fine, he continues. “I usually end up finishing the workout anyway because it usually does feel better once it’s started.”
The post also said he’s stepped back from social media and YouTube, sharing that he has “taken some time away from social media and YouTube.”
That struggle follows a series of public moments around Stephanie Buttermore’s death earlier this year. Weeks before she died. Nippard had shared an Instagram post dated February 14 showing himself with Buttermore—his arm around her as they posed on a couch. and another image featuring a close-up of colorful food.
In March, news broke that Buttermore died. At the time. a statement posted to Instagram from Nippard’s team said: “It is with profound sorrow that we share the sudden passing of Jeff’s fiancée and partner of 10 years. Stephanie.” It added that “Stephanie meant the world to Jeff. ” and said she would be remembered for “her warmth and compassion. ” her “love for her family. ” and her “Ph.D research on ovarian cancer.” The statement requested privacy as they navigated the loss: “We kindly ask for privacy as we navigate this tragic loss. Thank you for your understanding and support during this difficult time.”.
One month later, Nippard broke his silence by describing time spent with Buttermore’s “family and closest friends to celebrate her life and share memories with each other.”
In April. he returned with a longer reflection. writing: “When I think about Stephanie. I keep coming back to how loving and kind she was. She really made the world a better place.” He added that during her PhD. she studied a protein called RHAMM and found it “could help detect ovarian cancer early.” He wrote that there is “a copy of her PhD dissertation in my bio if you’d like to read it. ” calling it “one of the first things that made me fall in love with her.”.
He also described her influence through her YouTube channel. saying it helped people “feel less alone. ” especially those struggling “with food and body image.” He wrote that her journey helped people be “more accepting of themselves. ” and that she “always put her family first.” He said she had an especially loving bond with her mom.
Nippard wrote that he and Stephanie built a backyard garden in her honor—“purple was her favourite colour”—and that it “means so, so much” to him.
In the same April message. he said he had read “many” messages in the past weeks and that the “support has helped us all.” He wrote that Stephanie’s mom loves hearing stories about the difference her daughter made. that they talk “almost every day. ” and that it has been “incredibly difficult but we’re making it together.”.
He closed with a direct message to her audience: “If you were a fan of Stephanie, then I’m a fan of you. I hope she made your life better in some way. She made my life amazing and I’m so grateful for the time we had ❤️.”
Now, with his latest Instagram post, Nippard is showing what grief can do to ordinary routines. Even basic training—an empty bar lifted “up and down 10 times”—becomes part of how he gets through the day when depression leaves him with “no real desire to workout.”
Jeff Nippard Stephanie Buttermore depression mental health Instagram strength training grief YouTube ovarian cancer RHAMM bodybuilding influencer