Jackie Kennedy’s – In 1961, Jackie Kennedy met Queen Elizabeth II and offered a blunt two-word criticism about her hair. Yet as time passed, the two women found common ground—especially through a shared love of horses and the pressures of life in public.
Jackie Kennedy arrived at Buckingham Palace in 1961 with excitement that apparently lasted right up until the moment she looked around and noticed what she felt was missing—grandeur. In the same first encounter, she also made a sharp, two-word comment about Queen Elizabeth II.
The novelist and author Caroline Hallemann, writing about the relationship in her book The Kennedys and the Windsors, said Jackie was “very excited to go to Buckingham Palace and thrilled to meet the Queen,” but was “just slightly disappointed that the palace wasn’t grander.”
And then there was Elizabeth’s hair. Hallemann said Jackie thought it was “too flat,” a blunt assessment that landed in the middle of what was supposed to be a glittering moment between two of the world’s most watched women.
Jackie wasn’t alone on the trip. She accompanied John F. Kennedy for an official state visit to London, along with her sister, Lee Radziwill. The visit placed her close to the epicenter of British public life—Prime Minister Harold Macmillan also featured on their trip—and in 1961. Jackie’s presence was already generating its own kind of momentum.
The first awkward notes didn’t drown out what came next. Hallemann described a second conversation at Buckingham Palace—one that turned out to matter more than first impressions—when Jackie and Elizabeth bonded over horses.
“They had a great lunch, in part because they talked at length about horses,” Hallemann claimed. “That is where they were able to really connect. That was a true passion for both of these women.”
Hallemann added that many people noticed horses were where they felt most themselves—during the riding, when public roles faded and something more personal came through. She said the second Buckingham Palace conversation would have been the moment they connected most clearly on that topic.
Their connection, Hallemann suggested, wasn’t built on politics or power—despite their proximity to it. John F. Kennedy and Jackie had hard-earned experience of public pressure in their own way, and Hallemann framed Elizabeth’s response through the language of someone who’d learned how to endure.
“When the first lady described her struggles in the spotlight on their recent state visit to Canada, and the pressures of being in the spotlight 24 hours a day, the Queen looked rather conspiratorial and said, ‘One gets crafty after a while and learns how to save oneself,’” Hallemann recalled.
The emotional thread here is simple: two women with young children in view, each navigating the weight of constant attention. Hallemann called their bond one of “soft diplomacy,” and described them as having “great proximity to power and soft diplomacy, but not true political power behind.”
There was also an imbalance in experience that shaped the meeting itself. Jackie had been First Lady for just one year when she met Elizabeth in 1961, while the Queen had reigned since 1953.
“It was interesting because at that moment [of the 1961 dinner], Jackie had not been first lady for very long, whereas the Queen had already been serving in her role for quite a long time and she knew her role was lifelong,” Halleman said.
Hallemann also pointed to what Jackie brought to the room: “Jackie kind of stepped on the stage — so glamorous and vivacious— and blew people away. She held her role for such a short amount of time and made such an impact.”
The impact. Hallemann said. is part of why people still remember Jackie from that era—“in that moment in the 1960s. when she was so glamorous and stylish.” She credited Jackie’s appreciation for the arts. her ability to speak multiple languages. and her wider cultural polish as qualities that made her “a real asset to the Kennedy administration. ” according to Hallemann.
So the story doesn’t end with a comment as quick as “too flat.” It starts there—because first impressions can be sharp—but it moves toward what the women actually shared: horses, public scrutiny, and the ways you learn to save yourself when the spotlight never turns off.
Jackie Kennedy Queen Elizabeth II Caroline Hallemann The Kennedys and the Windsors Buckingham Palace John F. Kennedy Lee Radziwill Harold Macmillan Trooping of the Colour horses state visit to London 1961