failure vs – A leadership coach’s message for business: treat failure as a moment, not an identity. The shift from “failure” to “failing” can change how people learn, lead, and perform.
Miles Davis captured the hard truth behind growth: you often have to play for a long time to become yourself. In business, the same principle applies to learning your way into competence—yet many leaders package their stories as if progress is effortless.
That gap is exactly where the focus on “becoming” starts to matter. Misryoum highlights a practical reframing drawn from a leadership coach’s experience: the difference between “failure” and “failing” isn’t just semantics—it’s a tool that changes what people do next.
Why “failure” traps people—and “failing” keeps them moving
The word “failure” tends to land like a label. It describes a state: “I failed, so I’m a failure.” That framing can compress the future by treating setbacks as proof of identity rather than evidence of a gap to close.
“Failing,” by contrast, is an action-oriented sentence.. It points to a next step: “I’m failing. so I need to…” In other words. failing is treated as a condition you’re actively working through. not a verdict you must carry.. Misryoum sees this as more than personal mindset.. It’s a performance mechanism—because it reduces the emotional cost of trying again and makes improvement feel actionable rather than scary.
In workplaces, that distinction shows up in how teams respond after a missed goal.. Some organizations bury the setback, then move on with bland optimism.. Others turn the moment into a learning loop: what happened, what changed, and what we’ll test next.. The difference often isn’t courage in the abstract; it’s the language people use when they describe what’s gone wrong.
The business cost of whitewashing the process
Most leaders know failure is part of the process. But in public narratives, the messy middle is often edited out. Misryoum’s lens here is simple: when companies only showcase wins, employees learn to hide learning instead of sharing it.
That impacts everything from onboarding to innovation pipelines.. New hires might assume that only certain people “deserve” confidence.. Mid-level managers may stop surfacing early warning signs because they fear being perceived as incompetent.. Even high performers can internalize a silent rule: don’t admit you’re still becoming.
The result is a quieter form of risk. Teams don’t always fail because they don’t care; they fail because they don’t collect useful feedback early enough. When people are afraid to say “I’m failing,” decision-making slows, signals get distorted, and leaders lose visibility into what needs fixing.
A clearer definition of progress: from identity to iteration
Reframing failure to failing shifts the question from “Who am I?” to “Where am I relative to the target?” Misryoum interprets this as a leadership design choice. If you treat setbacks as identity, you may avoid them. If you treat them as information, you can use them.
That’s where performance culture becomes tangible. In a learning-driven environment, the goal isn’t to eliminate mistakes—it’s to shorten the distance between feedback and action. “Failing” supports that by encouraging iteration: adjust, try again, and measure what changes.
This also helps leaders coach without collapsing into vague positivity. Instead of pushing for “confidence,” a manager can ask better questions: What’s the next experiment? What’s the smallest change that could improve results? What support do you need to close the gap?
Why leaders should talk about the messy middle
There’s a personal layer to this, and Misryoum thinks it matters because it’s widely recognizable.. When leaders admit real moments of falling short, they stop sounding like distant achievements and start sounding like human beings.. That credibility can be the difference between employees who just feel motivated and employees who actually adjust their behavior.
A leadership story becomes more useful when it includes the part most people omit: the time when skills weren’t polished yet. That kind of honesty doesn’t weaken authority—it strengthens it by showing how competence gets built.
It also creates permission. If the best people still “buffer” while they’re becoming, then others can lower their guard long enough to learn. Misryoum views this as a cultural advantage: people get to focus on improvement instead of protecting an image.
What this means for teams, hiring, and innovation
If failure is treated as identity, risk-taking becomes performative: people try only what they can do on the first attempt. When “failing” is treated as a phase, experimentation becomes normal. That shift affects how organizations innovate—because innovation depends on discovering what doesn’t work.
For leaders, the practical takeaway is to structure feedback so it emphasizes action.. Misryoum suggests teams adopt language that keeps the future open: “We’re failing at X right now—what do we change next?” In hiring. it can also help: candidates shouldn’t be filtered solely on flawless track records. but also on how they learned from real setbacks.
Done well, this kind of cultural shift doesn’t remove standards. It clarifies expectations: ambition plus learning loops. Growth becomes less about pretending you’re already “there,” and more about staying honest during the journey.
The takeaway: becoming is work—so talk like it
The hardest part of becoming isn’t effort; it’s the pressure to look finished. Misryoum’s editorial bottom line follows the same idea: when people replace “failure” with “failing,” they make improvement possible—and they give others a healthier way to try again.
Sometimes you do have to play a long time to play like yourself. The difference is whether your story treats that time as a process you share with the team—or a private struggle you hide until it becomes a success you can finally show.
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