Gen Z Says This Is the Main Reason They Don’t Date: ‘Feels So Unattainable’

Key Takeaways
- Dating has become a financial luxury for Gen Z and young millennials.
- In a recent survey, more than half of unmarried 22- to 35-year-olds said that lack of money was their biggest barrier to going on dates.
- Many young adults say they would like a partner partly to cope with high living costs, yet they can’t afford the upfront cost of dating to find one.
Gen Z is increasingly choosing not to date because of the high cost of going out.
According to a national research project from Brigham Young University’s Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies, more than half of single young adults ages 22 to 35 cite financial struggles as their biggest obstacle to dating.
The survey, released earlier this year, found that only about 30% of young adults are dating at all, and just 31% say they date at least once a month. Nearly three-quarters of young women (74%) and almost two-thirds of young men (64%) reported they hadn’t dated or had dated only a few times in the past year.
For a generation just starting out, financial reality can interfere with plans to meet people and connect. Dating feels almost impossible when confronted with a lackluster job market and rising costs of living, according to a recent New York Times report.
In cities like New York, that pressure intensifies. A high cost of living can cause an expensive dinner date to break the bank. A survey from BMO Financial Group found that Gen Z spends more than $200 on an average date night, including the cost of transportation and getting ready.
Gen Z isn’t willing to pay the price
Gen Z has expressed interest in relationships but is disillusioned with the current expensive dating landscape.
“I definitely do want to get married and have kids,” Grace Sakellariou, 27, a single woman who lives in Astoria, New York, told the Times. “But that just feels so unattainable. I can’t even think about affording a wedding.”
She added that it was “discouraging” to encounter men who asked to split the bill on early dates. “I think it’s stunted our growth that everything’s so expensive,” she said.
Josh Timmins, a 25-year-old who intends to go to law school next year, is choosing not to date because of the high price of going out. He characterized dating apps as a “bit soulless.” “It’s hard to find actual connection,” he told the Times.
Couples can save on rent
According to the Times, Gen Z increasingly faces a problem: They need a partner to survive the economy, but they can’t afford the cost of finding one.
In Manhattan, the priciest New York City borough, sharing a one-bedroom with a partner can cut rent by more than $25,000 a year. It’s the biggest savings gap in the country, according to StreetEasy’s 2025 analysis of median asking rents.
When couples split the rent check, it gets easier for them to pay down student loans and save up for a down payment. They can also take a chance on a big career move, like switching jobs, starting a business or going back to school.
Benjamin Goldman, a labor and public economist at Cornell University, posed the following question to the Times: Could the drop in dating and marriage be part of why so many people in their 20s and 30s feel so economically stuck in New York and other big cities? “It’s one piece of this that’s been under-discussed,” he told the outlet.
Key Takeaways
- Dating has become a financial luxury for Gen Z and young millennials.
- In a recent survey, more than half of unmarried 22- to 35-year-olds said that lack of money was their biggest barrier to going on dates.
- Many young adults say they would like a partner partly to cope with high living costs, yet they can’t afford the upfront cost of dating to find one.
Gen Z is increasingly choosing not to date because of the high cost of going out.
According to a national research project from Brigham Young University’s Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies, more than half of single young adults ages 22 to 35 cite financial struggles as their biggest obstacle to dating.
The survey, released earlier this year, found that only about 30% of young adults are dating at all, and just 31% say they date at least once a month. Nearly three-quarters of young women (74%) and almost two-thirds of young men (64%) reported they hadn’t dated or had dated only a few times in the past year.