Britney Spears Says She ‘Failed as a Mother,’ Admits to Missing Out on Her Sons’ Childhoods
Britney Spears reflected on a painful period in her life in a series of rambling, text-filled slides posted on X on Friday, August 7.
The slides begin with a throwback photo of her two sons, Sean Preston Federline, now 20, and Jayden James Federline, now 19, as little boys, wearing bathing suits on the beach.
“Those two little bodies came out of my belly … Yes, they are mine … Unfortunately it wasn’t until 5 years ago that I saw they were secretly taken to the beach by my mom and dad … The whole summer,” the troubled pop star, 44, wrote.
“The pictures I saw of my mom and dad in secret on the beach the whole summer with my children every weekend … I wondered why I wasn’t a part of their cool secret outings … I felt demoralized to live in a country where it was accepted for people like my mom and dad to live secret lives with my children,” she continued. “I honestly went to my knees and cried for two months.”
The “Toxic” singer also described what it was like living under the restrictions of her controversial 13-year conservatorship, which was overseen by her father, Jamie Spears.
“Society doesn’t understand the real effects to this very day of the rights and freedoms anyone should be able to have … I never got to be me, the real Spears,” she wrote. “I used to be unbelievably intelligent and 100 percent I was brainwashed into an ignorant system where every [expletive] person took advantage of me … I firmly believe I am an angel, and it hurts.”
“I know this was all years ago, but as I get older and understand my real value as a woman, I look back and say, ‘How the hell would a government allow that?'” added the Crossroads star.
Spears then revealed that one of her sons — who were both mostly raised by their father, Kevin Federline — told her “last week” that he doesn’t believe in God. “In that moment I believed I had failed as a mother because I know there is a Holy Spirit that sits high in the kingdom of heaven,” she wrote. “I wanna tell my kids and people in general that I’m sorry for my mistakes in the past.”
“I will never get those years back and I’m proud of bringing it up because it’s honestly unbelievably sad,” the Grammy winner added.
As Star previously reported, it’s been a rough year for Spears, who was arrested and charged with a DUI in March, which led to a voluntary stay in rehab, along with a 12-month probation sentence, $571 fine, court-ordered three-month DUI program, and regular sessions with a psychologist and psychiatrist. On May 4, Spears’ lawyer accepted a “wet reckless” deal on her behalf, meaning she pled guilty to a reckless driving charge instead of DUI, according to Page Six.
At the time, her attorney said that the Grammy winner had “accepted responsibility” and was taking “significant steps to implement positive change.”
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The one bright spot, an insider told Star, was that she was spending more time with Jayden, though another insider told Star that Sean has been “wary” of visiting. However, he briefly changed his Instagram handle to Sean P. Spears in April.
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