Ben Cousins reveals his darkest moments of addiction as Scott Miller opens up on the turning point in the back of a police car
AFL great Ben Cousins and Olympic swimmer Scott Miller have opened up about their battles with addiction during a deeply personal interview on Nova 100.
The two sporting stars joined Jase, Lauren and Clint on Wednesday morning to discuss their work as ambassadors for the BEACON Community & Sporting Wellbeing Programme.
The initiative delivers education about mental health, alcohol and drug awareness through local communities and sporting clubs.
Cousins and Miller will draw on their own experiences to help people recognise warning signs and seek support before their lives spiral out of control.
Cousins, a Brownlow medallist and West Coast premiership player, admitted he knew he needed help but felt unable to ask for it because of his public profile.
‘I probably felt I was in a position to need help, but didn’t think that I could follow through with it,’ he said.
Ben Cousins (pictured) and Scott Miller opened up publicly about addiction, recovery and the darkest periods of their lives
The former sporting champions joined Nova 100’s Jase, Lauren and Clint for an emotional interview on Wednesday morning
Cousins admitted he lived a double life while hiding the extent of his addiction from those around him
Miller revealed that being arrested brought relief because he felt unable to stop himself anymore
‘It was something that I carried. I kept close to me. I was, you know, quite ashamed, but it led me down a leading a life, a double life, and I kept the two very separate for as long as I could until I couldn’t keep the charade up anymore.
‘But by that stage, things had really started to unravel.’
Cousins urged others not to wait until their problems became overwhelming.
‘There’s no shame in asking for some help or support, and the sooner you do it, if you think you need it, you can sometimes stop a small problem or small issue becoming a big one that affects everything in your life,’ he said.
The former footballer said accepting what had happened was a crucial part of rebuilding his life.
‘What’s happened has happened. I’m now going to try and accept that, but then not let my past jeopardize or be the thing that trips me up from making the most of the opportunities I’ve got today,’ he said.
Miller also described the extraordinary sense of relief he felt after being placed inside a police vehicle following his arrest.
‘The moment for me was obviously in the being arrested and being in the back of the paddy wagon and having a huge feeling of relief, which was a really confronting and amazing feeling to have,’ he said.
The Brownlow medallist said shame prevented him from seeking support before his life began to dramatically unravel publicly
Cousins urged people experiencing problems with alcohol or drugs to ask for help before their situation became overwhelming
The West Coast premiership hero said accepting his troubled past had become a crucial part of his recovery
‘Honestly, I felt like thank God I’ve been stopped because I couldn’t stop myself.’
The Olympic swimmer said thoughts of losing his ageing parents while he was behind bars had been particularly painful.
‘Especially when you’re in prison, thinking maybe they might die while I’m in there because they’re getting old,’ he said.
Miller is now caring for his mother and father and has also reconnected with the sport that once defined his life.
He returned to competitive swimming at the Masters in April after avoiding diving into a pool for 15 years.
‘It was one of the hardest things ever I’ve ever done because I had a lot of trauma attached to the pool,’ Miller said.
‘To do it again… that was a very healing and cathartic type thing for me to do.’
Cousins has similarly returned to football through his television work with Seven, describing that connection as an important part of his recovery.
Cousins played 270 AFL matches during a decorated career with West Coast and Richmond before retiring in 2010
He won the 2005 Brownlow Medal and helped West Coast defeat Sydney in the thrilling 2006 Grand Final
Miller said sitting inside a police vehicle marked the confronting moment he knew his life had finally changed
The former swimmer feared his ageing parents could die while he was serving his sentence behind bars alone
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‘Footy’s been such a big part of my life, and the road back,’ he said.
‘For a long time, when I wasn’t going well, very easy for me to isolate and not put myself in those situations very much at all.’
Both men became emotional while discussing how their experiences could now help others.
‘It just feels good to contribute and to have something to offer,’ Miller said.
Cousins said there was no escaping his past, but his life today was far removed from the desperation he once experienced.
‘For me and Scotty, whether we like it or not, there’s no running from our past. You know, everybody’s aware of it,’ he said.
‘Where I am today is just a vastly different place to the desperation in my life when I just felt like I was fighting on every front, really.’
Cousins said that while he was no longer living his childhood dream as an AFL player, he had found lasting contentment away from the game.
‘In terms of my sustained happiness, just on a day, I’m just happier now than I’ve ever been,’ he said.
The pair will visit sporting clubs and communities through BEACON, sharing their experiences while helping connect people with professional treatment and recovery services.