Madalyn Conchola, 62, in Phoenix, adopted four granddaughters—ages 7 to 19—after her children faced substance abuse issues. While the girls are thriving, Conchola says the cost of raising them has tightened her finances: her rent is now $2,250, her food bill i
The day Madalyn Conchola took in her first granddaughter, she thought she was stepping into a short, manageable responsibility. What she didn’t expect was how fast it would become a financial and emotional equation she’d carry for years—and how much the modern cost of living would turn a private family decision into a daily squeeze.
Conchola, 62, lives in Phoenix and has adopted four granddaughters, ages 7 to 19. Her son’s 7-year-old daughter was placed with her when the child was 10 months old in 2019. She received her daughter’s 12-, 16-, and 19-year-old daughters in 2021.
She describes her work life in familiar terms—she is an IT analyst in healthcare technology and has done that for 16 years—but the balancing act is different now. Conchola has worked remotely to raise her youngest daughter. who is now 26 and lives with her. working and living her own life. Conchola says she doesn’t want to put any responsibility on her daughter for raising the grandkids.
Before the adoptions, Conchola said she was briefly an empty nester. She was pursuing ministry in foreign missions and an artistic career change.
Then substance abuse disrupted the family.
Her extended family resisted her involvement. Conchola said. believing that if she intervened. she would leave her daughter to her own devices once the responsibility of the children ended. Conchola said her daughter had a lot of anger about the situation. but Conchola didn’t want the children involved in whatever her daughter needed to do to heal. Child Protective Services helped when Conchola took her older daughter’s girls safely with her.
It wasn’t only about raising kids. It was also about where she lived.
Conchola said she needed a bigger vehicle and a larger house. She had recently downsized before getting the children, but the placement required more space.
Around the same time, she was also absorbing losses that never really stay in the past. She buried her mother in 2020 and her brother in 2021. Conchola said she and the granddaughters lived in her mother’s house for three years while she tried to get her mother’s affairs in order. She settled her mother’s estate in early 2026. then moved into a rental once she was ready to put the house up for sale.
Conchola said the transition didn’t come with instructions. Everything felt fast, and she could sense the girls didn’t want to live with their grandmother. She said they had mental issues, and she got them into therapy. She described the moment as surreal—like it wasn’t her life—because there was no handbook on grandparents “reparenting.”.
Even support didn’t fully match what she felt the family needed.
Conchola said she looked for resources through her church and family but wasn’t receiving the kind of support she wanted. When the girls were fostering, she said an agency provided beds and a consignment shop helped her get clothes. She also said she felt there should have been more accessible organizations set up to address the needs of families affected by the opioid crisis.
So she isolated herself, put her head down, went to work, and did what she needed to do—keeping the kids active and moving day by day.
The economic hit, she said, is now part of every calculation.
Conchola earns over $70,000 annually. Still, her rent is now $2,250 because she needed a place big enough for all of them. She said her food bill is up to $400 a month because food is expensive now. and she estimated gasoline costs a few hundred dollars a month. She said her monthly expenses—including insurance and household bills—total a few thousand.
She receives a state subsidy of a little over $2,000 for the children, but Conchola says it doesn’t cover all the costs. She also said the subsidy will go away once the children get older, even if they are still living with her.
The adoption process became, in her words, a way to prevent further harm.
She said that when she saw neither her son nor her daughter was able to comply with what was needed for them to be reunited with their children. she started the adoption process. She said she didn’t want the girls to go into the system. Conchola added that she herself was adopted and didn’t find out until she was almost 29. describing that pain and hurt as something she wanted to alleviate for the children.
Now, her focus is centered on what she calls the children’s mental, emotional, and spiritual needs.
Conchola said all of the girls have dealt with mental health challenges at times, but are thriving currently. She said they are doing better in school and that she believes they feel stable and safe with her.
Their paths are already taking shape:
Her 19-year-old granddaughter is in college for dance education. Conchola said she is still supporting her, though the granddaughter is working part-time.
Her 16-year-old is in a high school aerospace program and wants to be a commercial pilot, while also being interested in psychology.
The 12-year-old did cheer this year.
The 7-year-old “runs the family” and can “hold her own,” Conchola said.
The stress now is partly about age.
Conchola said her age and ability to work loom over her. She recently took a mini-vacation to Los Angeles to get away and described it as time to think about things she wants to do with the rest of her life because she still has some time left. She said her eldest daughter is now clean and actively healing her relationship with her children. and having her back in their lives has been helpful to the 12-year-old. Conchola said the eldest daughter has her own apartment and works.
She also said the children have been back in touch with their paternal side. Their paternal family is out of state, but Conchola said they provide needed emotional support, send gifts, and fly in for graduations.
Her son, however, is still struggling.
Conchola said she did her best to keep her family together and ensure the children have stability and support to be successful. She shared that her daughter has told her: “Mom. I won’t say they wouldn’t have turned out well with me. but I know they wouldn’t have turned as well as they have with you. It’s like I’ve carried the torch for so long. and then I passed the baton to you. and you’ll get them the rest of the way.”.
Even with the girls thriving, Conchola’s financial future is not settled. She said she’s looking for other ways to generate income so that when she reaches the point where she can’t work, she can find help through her art and writing. She said she’s making sure her credit card debt is extremely low.
She is also preparing to write.
Conchola said she is gathering her thoughts into a memoir about her life. For a long time. she said. she wasn’t ready to tell her story. but now she believes it is part of her healing. She added that there’s nothing she’s ashamed of—just a life that has forced her to keep going while the household bills kept rising.
What began as a placement of one granddaughter has become, for Conchola, a long-term financial reality tied directly to today’s prices, tomorrow’s aging, and a subsidy she expects will eventually end.
Madalyn Conchola Phoenix adopted grandchildren substance abuse Child Protective Services opioid crisis healthcare technology IT analyst rent $2 250 food bill $400 state subsidy memoir