In a new interview, Adam Lambert called out toxic masculinity within the queer community, saying many gay men are “so afraid” to step out from the crowd. He tied that fear to shame, labels, and a hostile political climate—while pointing to his own shifting ide
Adam Lambert used to be a “twink.” Now, he laughs at how far he feels from that label.
In a new interview with British podcast host Josh Smith. the singer looks back at the ways gay men have been defined by stereotypes—while also pushing back on how those expectations can turn into something sharper. Lambert jokes that at one point he was called a “bear. ” and that he’s often been labeled a “queen.” Lately. though. he’s started hearing people call him “king. ” and the implication of masculinity catches him off guard. “But by age alone, I’m a dad.”.
That personal shift leads him to a wider point. Lambert speaks candidly about toxic masculinity within the queer community, and why so many gay men seem trapped by the idea of what a “real” man is supposed to look and act like.
“We’re already dealing with our own shame around who we are — especially gay men,” Lambert says. “I think the reason why gay men get it worse than the gay women is because of toxic masculinity. It’s because society expects men to act a certain way. to look a certain way. and if you don’t. you’re not a man or you’re not enough of a man. People are so afraid.”.
For Lambert, the fear isn’t abstract. It shows up in how people choose to present themselves—how they decide whether to stand out, or blend in. He says he worries gay men are afraid to step out from the crowd and be their authentic selves as a hostile political climate against the LGBTQ+ community rises.
“I saw a picture the other day and I was. like. ‘Geez. they all look the same.’ I get a little freaked out by that scene. ” Lambert says. “I’m, like, ‘Does anybody wanna look different?. Does anybody wanna express something that’s singular. that’s their own thing to help them stand apart from everybody?’ People don’t want to stick out. They don’t want to look weird. Isn’t that kind of boring?”.
The tension, in Lambert’s telling, is that visibility can start to feel like pressure. He describes it as shame that pushes people toward the safest version of themselves—especially when hateful rhetoric is spreading online.
“It’s scary, and it’s frustrating, but it’s going to blow over,” he says. “There’s such a shame in anything other than a masc man that all these guys are assimilating into in order to be validated or in order to be desirable.”
The message lands as both a warning and an invitation: stay strong. stay optimistic. and don’t surrender your own singular expression just to be accepted. Lambert’s new album, ADAM, drops July 9 on all platforms. The full interview is also available to watch via the embedded video link included in the release.
Adam Lambert toxic masculinity gay men LGBTQ+ community masculinity visibility shame ADAM album Josh Smith podcast American Idol finalist
So wait he used to be a twink and now he’s a king??
This feels like that same old “toxic masculinity” talk but applied inside the queer community. Like okay but people are still just trying to live. Also politics makes everything worse, sure, but I don’t know if labels are the real issue.
He’s not afraid to step out from the crowd lol he’s literally famous. Idk “king” sounds like the opposite of masculine shame? Like if anything he’s already the example of not blending in. I’m confused why “gay men get it worse than gay women” is even a measurable thing.
I listened to part of this and I think I get it, but also it’s like everyone has to fit into a box. Twink, bear, queen, king… it’s all still stereotypes. Meanwhile people act like being a “dad” automatically makes you more acceptable? Idk, sounds like he’s arguing against toxic masculinity but still describing masc/fem like it’s a scoreboard. Not saying he’s wrong, just rambling in my head.