Many leaders strive for “fairness.” The intent is good. They want to avoid bias, give people the opportunity to succeed, and support all their team members. However, too often in that pursuit, they are given the advice to “treat everyone the same”—no favorites. On the surface, this sounds nice. It sounds fair.
But this is one of the worst pieces of advice a leader could take. Not everyone needs the same treatment. In fact, the best leadership approach for each person depends on the situation.
My perspective comes from more than a decade spent studying effective influence, helping organizations build leadership capability, and leading teams myself. Across all three experiences, the same pattern emerges: Leadership works best when it’s tailored to the situation. Here are four common scenarios leaders find themselves in and the best way to respond.
1. The Reluctant Starter
Have you ever introduced someone to a development opportunity only to have them freeze up, question it, or avoid it altogether? This is not an uncommon scenario. Many people respond this way when faced with a challenge they’ve never tackled before. Under these circumstances the best thing a leader can do is provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This gives the team member some easy wins that help them build up the skill and confidence they need to develop their performance.
2. The Eager Newbie
Sometimes people get a new development opportunity and are ready to jump right in. In fact, they overestimate their ability and run away with it. This can lead to poor outcomes and even backfire by causing performance regression. To avoid such negative effects, it’s important that leaders recognize an eager newbie quickly and give them the direction and clarity they need to perform to the standard.
Skilled leaders can do this while still reinforcing the individual’s enthusiasm and slowly providing the bigger picture. Over time such leadership builds the performer’s ownership over their development, putting them in the driver’s seat of their success.
3. The Insecure Achiever
On the other hand, leaders often run into situations where a person has demonstrated expertise in a skill or competency but continues to doubt themselves. They might keep trying to lean on the leader for problems whose answers they already know, and be reluctant to take responsibility for tasks. Although they might ask for answers and direction from the leader, what they really need is someone who reminds them that they know what they’re doing.
Leaders can do this through two-way dialogue and collaborative problem solving. By turning the performer’s questions back to them, the leader reinforces that they already have everything they need to be successful.
4. The Autonomous Expert
With consistent practice and leader support, many performers eventually reach the stage where they are an autonomous expert in their role’s critical skills. You might think this is the easiest situation to work with, but for many leaders it’s uncomfortable. Because, when someone is excelling at a skill, what they need more than anything is for their leader to back off.
For some leaders that can feel like abandonment. But for an individual who is performing a task at the highest quality, it feels like trust and empowerment.
Leadership is about adaptability rather than consistency
Notice how each of these situations called for a very different leadership approach? That’s why we say leadership is not a one-size-fits-all thing, and we caution against the advice of treating everyone the same.
Imagine if you responded to the reluctant starter by stepping back and letting them take the reins. They would likely feel abandoned as they inevitably fail, just as they expected. On the other hand, imagine if you responded to the autonomous expert with step-by-step instructions and firm guidance. They would feel micromanaged and frustrated and walk away with the message that their leader doesn’t trust them. That’s why rather than using one leadership style for every situation, leaders need to give their people what they need in the moment, meeting them where they are.
Now to take it one step further, consider that each of those scenarios described above could be about the same individual across four different skills. We all have responsibilities that we know we have room for improvement on and other tasks that we excel at. That means every leader needs to be able to adapt their leadership style even within a single conversation. This is easier said than done.
Most leaders have a style that is most comfortable to them. That’s why the advice to “treat everyone the same,” can be so tempting. It gives them an out to lean on their preferred style in the name of fairness.
But to truly be a successful leader, you need to step out of your comfort zone and put yourself in the shoes of the people you are leading. What do they need from you right now to develop on this specific task or skill? The answer to that question will lead you to the best leadership style that meets the moment.
Fairness as an overall concept is still relevant; leaders should of course treat all individuals with respect. Effective leadership, however, is more about adaptability than consistency.