The Education Ministry’s nine bullying recommendations face scrutiny as advocates urge more aftercare, restorative steps, and better reporting safety for children.
When a child is bullied, the immediate adult instinct is to try to “fix” the situation, usually involving a focus on consequences for the bully.. The Ministry of Education has taken a much-needed step in reviewing schools’ approach to bullying and rolling out a set of nine recommendations after eight months.. Much media attention and the public discourse since then have, unfortunately, disproportionately focused on the standardisation of disciplinary measures across schools, including caning, suspension
and conduct grade adjustment.. In the recent parliamentary sitting on May 6, Education Minister Desmond Lee addressed a range of questions pertaining to his ministry’s recommendations.. However, more details on the type of aftercare support provided to affected children and what restorative actions would look like could have been provided.. In our rush to restore order, we often overlook the very person at the heart of these instances – the children who are bullied, who
feel a sense of helplessness, a loss of control and a yearning to be heard.. Truly addressing the scourge of bullying, however, requires moving beyond the focus on punishment to place children’s voices at the centre of the solution.. We say this based on our experience over the last three years, during which our Tinkle Friend helplines for primary school-aged children received over a hundred calls and chats each year related to bullying.. These children
speak of their emotional distress, poor self-esteem, a loss of well-being, including their ability to function normally.. Punitive measures send a clear signal of disapproval, but they are blunt instruments that rarely address the full range of anxieties and concerns that a child who experienced bullying may have.. Additionally, students who misbehave persistently or exhibit behavioural issues may come from backgrounds with family dysfunction and mental health distress and have complex relational needs.. For these
children, a default to disciplinary measures might temporarily work as an external deterrent to ensure compliance.. However, they do not necessarily improve a child’s self-regulation or help them develop an awareness of how their actions were harmful.. In fact, studies conducted in North America show purely punitive interventions can be counter-productive, further alienating students from their school environments and potentially worsening antisocial behaviour in the long run.. Why children stay silent If our current systems
were working perfectly, children would feel safe coming forward, but many don’t.. Instead, Tinkle Friend data shows that a child’s willingness to report bullying is shaped by their perceptions of how adults might react and that conflict may be escalated instead of resolved.. Their fears are specific and relational: Will they be protected from retaliation?. Will their experience be shared with the whole school, causing embarrassment?. Will friendships, lost due to bullying incidents, be mended?.
Will their busy parents see their troubles as a burden?. When the reporting process is unclear or if adults had been dismissive in the past, children see actions to seek help as risky and are discouraged from doing so.. A positive help-seeking experience requires us to be sensitive to the fact that children navigate a delicate terrain in school.. It will hence require us to affirm their agency and safety, via trusting relationships with adults
and clear support pathways.. Beyond punishment and towards repair So what do children actually want when they reach out?. When we ask them, their answers are rarely about seeing their perpetrators punished.. Instead, children ask for a listening ear, support in the reporting process and aid to restore fractured friendships, and see their friends stand up for them.. These desires underscore the relational nature of bullying, and hence the need for a similarly relational remedy
and the importance of safe, supportive peer relationships that foster a sense of belonging.. This is where restorative practice comes in.. Unlike traditional discipline, which asks what rule was broken and how that should be punished, restorative practice asks who was harmed, what their needs are and how that harm should be repaired and future harm prevented.. That involves facilitated dialogues where the person causing harm is faced with the human impact of their actions
and has time to reflect and consider actions of restitution, and the child who was bullied has a chance to view the person engaging in bullying behaviours exercise accountability for their actions.. They can be done individually or in a group context.. This controlled environment reduces the fear of retaliation and fosters genuine accountability – something disciplinary action alone can never achieve.. Children calling Tinkle Friend also expressed a desire to learn practical strategies on
how to protect themselves and others, which highlights not only a wish for immediate relief but also for them to be empowered to independently manage challenges such as bullying.. Responding to a child’s need to be active participants in tackling the issue can be a promising approach.. When students, not just parents or teachers, can participate in the development of norms and behavioural expectations, they can take ownership of their environment.. In doing so, they
cease being passive recipients of adult rules and become active participants of a bully-free culture.. Solutions designed for children must include them Addressing bullying is not just about attending to the crisis in that moment, or punishing acts of misconduct, but also about mending a child’s psychological sense of safety.. To do this effectively, adults around them – parents, teachers and school leaders – must certainly have the ability and confidence to recognise signs of
bullying, including covert forms like cyberbullying.. Consequences for bullying behaviour too must be proportionate, consistent and transparent.. But all these should be viewed as a means to an end – the restoration of a safe environment – rather than an end in itself.. The gaps in any process are best identified by those who fall through them.. Children are already telling us what they need; it is time for us to listen.. No policy, no
matter how “tough”, will succeed if a child does not feel safe enough to speak up.. Ang Boon Min is chief executive officer of the Singapore Children’s Society
school bullying recommendations, Ministry of Education, restorative practice, Tinkle Friend, child helplines, aftercare support, cyberbullying