Residents and critics say the K400 petrol “change” is too small to matter after sharp price spikes.
Dear Judge Mbadwa, My Lord, I come before you today with a heart full of gratitude or perhaps it is just the fumes of the K6 209 petrol finally reaching my brain.. This week, we were told to celebrate.. The town criers were sent out to announce a “massive” reduction in fuel prices.. After the Nyasaland Energy Regulatory Authority’s unprecedented feat of catapulting a litre of petrol from K2 700 to a staggering K6 672,
they have reached into the depths of their generosity and handed us back… K400.. My Lord, allow me to put this into perspective for the court.. If a thief breaks into your house, steals your cow, your goats, your bags of maize, and your only bed, but then returns the next morning to leave a single, half-eaten cob of maize on your doorstep; do you throw a feast for his kindness?. Or do you wonder
if he is mocking the very concept of your survival?. The Legacy Choir is already warming up their vocal cords, chanting that this is what is termed ‘listening to the cries of the people.. My Lord, this reduction is not an economic intervention; it is an insult wrapped in a press release.. “Like putting out a forest fire with a teacup” My Lord, have you noticed the mathematics of this?. We are told that global
shocks forced the price to leap by nearly 150%.. We were told to “tighten our belts” until our waists disappeared.. But when the global shocks subside and the forex “begins to flow” (as the poets in the ministries of Finance and Energy claim), the price crawls back down by a measly 4%.. It is the classic Nyasaland minibus: it speeds like a demon when the fare is going up, but when it’s time to lower
it, the engine develops ‘knocking,’ the driver stops at every stage to chat with friends, and the conductor suddenly loses his hearing.. I saw a fuel attendant yesterday, My Lord, looking at the new price board with a confused expression.. He looked like a man trying to calculate how many K400s it would take to buy a loaf of bread that has tripled in price because of the K6 600 era.. He realised, as we
all have, that this reduction cannot even buy a single sachet of salt.. It is a “miracle” that leaves the believer hungrier than before.. My Lord, I suspect the officials who approved this figure did so while laughing into their imported bottled water.. They know that K400 does not lower bus fares; it does not reduce the price of a bag of charcoal.. It is simply ‘talk-talk’ in numerical form.. Osangosiya bwanji kuti mudzatsitse when
it would be meaningful?. Tadyetsanapo nyama ya galu apa!. So, Judge Mbadwa, I submit that we should not be fooled by this decimal-point charity.. Let the administration keep their K400 change.. Perhaps they can use the accumulated savings to buy a map that shows them the reality of the ghettos, where the people are not “celebrating” a reduction, but are still mourning the death of their purchasing power.. Until a litre of petrol costs less
than a decent lunch, I move that we treat this “reduction” as a clerical error rather than a policy success.. Respectfully submitted, John Citizen
petrol price reduction, K400 change, Nyasaland Energy Regulatory Authority, fuel cost, forex flow, Judge Mbadwa