Ben Hollands admits he “hit a wall” as son Elijah’s mental health struggles continue
Ben Hollands says he “hit a wall” after his son Elijah was hospitalised, sharing how rest and letting go helped his family move forward. Misryoum reports.
Ben Hollands has spoken openly about the moment he “hit a wall” amid his son Elijah’s mental health challenges and a hospital admission last week.
The former AFL player posted a raw message on social media, describing a period where he felt he had been “carrying too much” and that his own idea of leadership needed to change.. For many people, that kind of admission lands hard, because it speaks to what families often experience in private—when stress builds past endurance, even a steady parent can reach a breaking point.
Elijah was admitted to hospital last Monday night, four days after a much-discussed, erratic performance against Collingwood.. Carlton later said Hollands experienced a mental health episode, but the situation quickly became public beyond the football conversation, with commentary questioning how long he remained on the field.
On Thursday, Carlton coach Michael Voss responded to the backlash with a passionate defence of the club, arguing they had been “bullied”.. Since then, Carlton has submitted the findings of its internal investigation to the AFL for review, meaning the spotlight has shifted again—from what happened on the day, to how clubs handle mental health episodes in high-pressure environments.
The personal cost behind public scrutiny
While the club and league process moves at its own pace, Ben Hollands’ post adds another layer: the emotional labour that comes with caring for a child through a crisis.. In his message, he described how he believed he was leading—being strong, setting an example—until he realised that in that moment, his leadership had to look different.
He wrote that healing, peace, and rest became the priority.. The wording matters because it frames “letting go” not as weakness, but as a deliberate choice to survive and support someone else.. His account also suggests that families dealing with mental health crises can get trapped in a cycle where everyone is expected to keep functioning, even when the system inside the home is under strain.
Why rest and “letting go” resonate
There is a practical reason his admission may connect with so many readers.. Mental health episodes don’t only affect the person in crisis; they reshape the daily decisions of parents—how they talk, where they spend energy, what they can cope with, and what they are forced to pause.. Ben Hollands’ message points to a hard but common reality: sometimes the best support is not doing more, but stepping back and letting recovery lead.
He said he is feeling better after taking the rest he needed, describing himself as clearer, lighter, and rejuvenated.. He also portrayed the past week as an outpouring of love and support, while drawing a clear line between that experience and his understanding of leadership: leadership isn’t only stepping forward—it can mean handing things over, trusting others, and seeking rest when it’s required.
For families watching from the outside, the story can be both comforting and sobering. Comforting, because it confirms that needing help is not unusual. Sobering, because it shows how quickly public attention can turn a private crisis into a public test of judgment.
AFL review continues, with delicate timing
On the league side, the AFL is expected to take its time considering Carlton’s report, reflecting the sensitivity of the issues involved.. AFL general manager of football performance Greg Swann said there was no rush, describing the matter as delicate and noting the unusual nature of how it has played out publicly.
His comments also suggest that the AFL’s review will likely be careful about how it balances procedure, player welfare, and the human reality of mental health.. That matters because decisions in the heat of the moment—whether about supervision, duration, and escalation—can shape how families remember the experience long after the game footage fades.
For readers who may be affected by mental health concerns, crisis support remains available.. If someone needs help right now, Lifeline can be reached on 13 11 14.. Beyondblue can also provide information and support for depression at 1300 224 636, and people are encouraged to speak with a GP or another trusted local health professional.